and now, THE NEWS...

For the first time in recorded history, live pictures of a live Giant squid were taken this week in its deep sea habitat. This isnt the largest squid living out there, but it is one of the oversized varietys that people didnt quite believe was living in our oceans. I cant believe no one has fried one of these mothers up yet, I WANT SUPERSIZED CALAMARI!!!

Scientist have found a spider that is 20 million years old. It was killed when tree sap covered it and today was found suspended in amber. Scientist were able to extract actual blood from the spider, which determined the age, and they are hoping to extract DNA also. I can already see the mutant 20 million year old spider hybrids running around tackling people and laying eggs in their brains. Dont say I didnt warn you.

Gov. Schwarzenegger has terminated the Same sex marraige bill. He says it will confuse the issue and he wants the people, not the courts to decide the fate of the issue. I have seen the Govenor shirtless lately and am frankly suprised he vetoed the bill. His boobs have gotten so saggy and large he could pass for a transy or a really weird looking woman, so does that mean he and Maria will have to get a divorce? I think so...

Scientists report that they have found Gorillas in the wild using tools for the first time. Gorillas for a long time, have been seen using their tools in zoos all across the country, but this is the first time in the wild. Scientists were supprised at how agile these creatures were when handling their tools, but if chimps can sign and paint, it shouldnt supprise us that gorillas can hold on to their sticks.

The Japanese automaker, Nissan, has developed an egg-shaped car whose body pivots 360 degrees so that its rear end becomes the front. The Pivo was shown Friday at a Tokyo Nissan showroom and is an experimental model. This model of car is going to be geared for the elderly population, due to the fact that there is no back seat for younger buyers to have sex in.

In Lajas, Puerto Rico, the town has devoted a large portion of their budget to building a landing strip for UFO's. The idea came from an elementary school teacher who claims to have been in contact with ET's since he wandered into a canabus field as a child. I am betting more regular planes land there than UFO's but I for one hope it works out.

Finally, a judge in Tx has barred a Teen druggie from having sex as part of her probation. She will aslo be ordered to drive the new Nissan Pivo, until her probation is over.

Greased up deaf guy says: See y'all at the paarty!!!

Kisses...