Thursday's Question...
OK, for S&G, lets put a question out there, YAY! Lets say, that you are at work and working (it could happen) and you are doing your normal thing and you hear a cubicle or 2 over, loud people talking. So naturally you listen cause you can hear them like they are talking to you. So Mother one says, : "Oh my son just called and wants to bring a girl home after school. The other Mother, and Mother one discuss all that kind of stuff,
M2 "Oh my daughter cant date until she is 16"
M1 "Well My kids can date blah blah blah"
M2 "Are you sure you don't mind him bringing a girl home without you there?"
M1 "Oh I trust him, and besides, he's bringing a guy home too. But not like that...He's another friend from school. My son really likes this girl, but so does his friend he is bringing home, but hey At Least he's strait!!!" (The friend I assumed or her son, it doesnt matter.)
M2 "Shhh, not so loud" This is because M2, who is supposedly a friend of sorts knows I hear everything.
"Whisper, Whisper, Whisper." aaannnnnndddddd Scene.
Anyway so the basic premise of this badly written story is that Loudy McTalksalot over there, or M1 for short, is saying, my son is having friends over, but I am not worried about premarital sex or him alone with a girl, I am just excited and relieved that the other boy that will be with them is strait.
Now I know I will get flack for this, but you can replace that strait comment with "at least he isn't (Insert race here), or religion or gender or anything else bigots like to pick on. My Question to you is, what would you say or do, again keeping in mind you are at work, in this situation, if anything at all? Would you speak up, would you do anything, would you go to Human Resources?
Comment Away, because I am really interested in what people would do.
As for me, I hope I get invited to Loudy Mctalksalot's wedding, because in front of her and many others, I will say NO, I don't think you would like my date, He ISN'T Strait.
Kisses...
posted by Tim @ 10:23 AM
4 comments
4 Comments:
Well, I don't think HR would be much help since non-straights aren't explicitly protected under your company's non-discrimination policy.
How well do you know M1? Is she someone you could be like, "Hey! Rude much?! I'm sitting right here, you know!" or would that be more trouble than it's worth?
That's really the question you have to ask yourself. Is it more trouble than it's worth? Because you certainly don't want it to turn into an unbearably awkward working environment, and you certainly don't want to risk losing your job over a workplace altercation.
If this isn't someone of any significance in your personal or professional life, it may behoove you to let it go and just simply ignore her existence for the rest of your time stuck on the 9th floor w/her--"Bitch Be Gone, life's too short to suffer the likes of you and your ilk!"
Well, my thoughts will have to be hypothetical since young straight white women don't tend to be a group that gets talked derogatorily(sp?) to or about...
actually, now that I think of it, I do have a story that you might not be aware of that seems to vaguely relate to what you are talking about...
When I worked at Olive Garden, the general manager there was... how can I put it without seeming racist... a middle aged man of middle eastern descent... and he would give me flack all the time (more than w/ other people I thought), and refer to me as Kelly Bundy on a regular basis, i don't even think he knew my real name... sooooo I put up with his shite for many months until one day, his family of 12 comes in during Sunday lunch rush and he decides he wants me to wait on their table... so I am busting my ass for this family, who by the way is blatantly running me ragged with their endless stream of demands (while I also have 3 other tables that I'm waiting on). Finally, the meal is over, and I bring out their bill. I go into the kitchen to get food for one of my other tables, and this GM comes up to me and asks me where the bill is. I tell him that I gave it to the table, and he goes off into this tyrade about how he wanted their bill comped, and why didn't I give him the bill, and then he started speaking in middle eastern as he runs out of the kitchen. He returns with their bill in hand and begins to berate me in front of everyone in the kitchen about this horrible thing i have done... i inform him that he never TOLD me to give him the bill, he tells me how devastating this is somehow to the family that I brought them the bill rather than giving it to him to comp... God forbid they should have to pay for anything (sorry, i had some very bad experiences working at CEC with the middle eastern crowd coming in and trying to get whatever they could for free too)... I'm standing here crying, trying to explain myself, but he just goes on and on... and finally i yell, just about at the top of my lungs as i recall, 'Fuck you you fucking asshole bastard motherfucker, you can go to hell!!' and i storm out of the kitchen and out of the building... EVERYONE in the restaurant is staring at me, if that gives you any idea how loud i was... i came back later that evening to close out my $$, and was asked to never return to the building. looking back, i should have filed a lawsuit against that MFer, but that's neigher here nor there...
Ok, that probably had nothing whatsoever to do w/ what you were talking about, but the point to my whole long story would be that you are justified in whatever you decide to do. What they said made you feel a certain way, and no one - gay straight black white fat skinny whatever - can try to tell you what is or is not an appropriate response to what happened to you. Whether it's going to the coworker and saying 'hey, i thought it was super shitty what you were saying the other day', or going straight to HR to report your case, that is for you to decide... from a PC standpoint, because i learned my lesson regarding 'going off on someone because of something they said, and ending up getting fired' - It made me feel better for about an hour, but it didn't get much accomplished and it lost me my job - I would recommend going to said co-worker, speaking your peace in a civilized way, letting her know that what she said offended you and that if it happens again, you will pursue the matter further, then going to you boss, letting him know what happened, and informing him that you confronted said co-worker about it. I would also follow this up with an email stating everything mentioned above, and sending it to your boss and copying your home email. This way, if it ever comes up in the future, and you choose to take it to a higher level, you have a hard copy showing that you followed the proper channels as far as the situation goes.
I don't know that I think this will be pursued necessarily by your boss or even HR (she didn't specifically say anything bad about people who are gay, she only voiced her opinion on the subject of her son's sexuality, which doesn't make it any less shitty, but i think would make a difference from a 'taking legal action' sort of standpoint. Regardless, I think you are completely justified in making your statement, even if only for principles sake... I wish i had taken the proper actions 7 years ago, and i probably would have gotte that asshole fired.
Well Sexual orientation is covered in our harrasment policy, suprise suprise, so it is covered in writing though not advertised. M1 says hi to me all the time, and I am sorry to those of you who embrace the Christian religion, because people like M1 make you look bad, but she prays at the drop of a hat and is ultra religious. That being said, she is very nice and always says hi to me and how are you blah blah blah. But the point is, if she knows about me, then it is even worse, but if she doesnt know about me, then shame on her anyway. But my point is, a huge pet peeve I have, the biggest, justified or not, is when people are all like, "Oh I love james n tim to death, but if anyone in may family was gay I would kill them, and I have problems with all other gay people who arent my friends. Also I think I know alot about the gay and how they work, more so than James n Tim, and if a child of mine turned out gay, I would DIE, Just DIE!!" That is the crap I cant stand but to get back to the point, I thought about letting it go, but I hate to stand around and let people think that kind of behavior is ok.
I think your story is relevent, I think that if anything erks you, you have the right to speak out about it.
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