Timmy J. Studios presents . . .

2006-08-25T10:31:00.000-04:00

I need to start working out.

Somedays I look in the mirror, and I say the same thing, but mine is because I am out of shape, It isnt a fantasy that I want, its a nightmare I hope to prevent and get rid of. ManBOOBs, the silent killers of selfesteme. Ok I barely have them, but I do wakeup at night screaming about the some day, if I dont work out, that I might have them.

Pukes...

2006-08-23T10:24:00.000-04:00

Cat Wheel

I wish we had one of these, then perhaps Bastian would tire himself out quicker. Honey, get on the drawing board, I want a cat wheel...

Hey Kids. . . Lets go on a Sleigh Ride

2006-08-01T10:46:00.000-04:00

Just hear those pink slips crinkle-ing
Ring ting tinkle-ing too
Come on, it's lovely weather
To be laid off together with you

Outside the economy is falling
And friends are calling "F You!"
Come on, it's lovely weather
To be laid off together with you

Giddy-yap giddy-yap giddy-yap
let's go
They showed us the do’
Now We're under an over-pass doing blow

Giddy-yap giddy-yap giddy-yap it's grand
Just holding your hand
We’re living in a box downtown
With a squeegee and an out stretched hand.

Our cheeks are nice and rosy
And it’s so ozone-y, Yippee
We're snuggled up together
Even though we both smell like pee

Let's take the road before us
And check the classifieds too
Come on, it's lovely weather

To be laid off together with you

Jez' Crist. . .

2006-07-31T10:27:00.000-04:00

"We simply cant wait to have you over again."

I know this is a public blog and if I want to send a message, I can use email, BUT.....If you aren't Donald or Michael, this post isn't really for you so scroll down and have some Fajitas instead. If you don't like it, suck it. . .

. . . But if you are, good times. Fun. You two have a really nice and beautiful house, and as I said, I can't wait to see what you do with it when you get going and recover from the move itself. We had so much fun, I love it, I love it, I LOVE IT!!! Plus Dinner was Very Good thank you Michael. On a more personal note, it makes me very happy that things are ending up where they are. You guys are very important and I am glad to have you in our circle. You have been missed. Well I would go on for lines and lines, but wouldn't you know it today I actually have some work to do, but to recap:

*Good Times
*Fun
*Great food
*Beautiful House
*Love it Love it Love it.

Two Lips, a Kiss, Jez Crist...

2006-07-31T10:25:00.000-04:00

Stevie Nick's Fajita Roundup

You want Burritos....I sure hope you can keep them down...

Summertime...

2006-07-18T10:46:00.000-04:00

The Heat makes everyone crazy, so I am offering a summer carol to add to the madness.

(To the tune of THE CHRISTMAS SONG)

Raw eggs cook out upon the sidewalk while,
Melanoma's nipping at your nose.
Crys of heat exhaustion, and a squirrel catching on fire,
And Folks who are sweating off their clothes.
Everybody knows some jerk or stupid hoe,
Could the damn sun be more bright.
Metal pots left outside start to glow
100+ Makes it hard to sleep at night.
We Know no rainclouds are on their way -
Just lots of dust, and ozone's here to stay.
And every motherF#*&ers gonna try,
To see if electric bills really know how to fly.
And so I'm Offering this simple phrase,
To damn kids and especially to you.
Although it's been said many times
many ways, I'm heat stroking, F you.

Melting . . .

Good Morning. . .I'm Here!!!!!

2006-07-11T14:06:00.000-04:00

So I says to Mable, I says: "Well, I only have the best partner in the world." And you know something? Its true, He gets a little bla-daow, and he gets me a little BLING! Why? Me confused? Well so was I but he did it because he loved me, so now we are a happy 2 Creative Zen MP3 Player family, and it is as fun as I imagined. So welcome to Us, to the MP3 generation, its not a big deal, I just like it a lot and it was about time for us both. Thank you honey, I love you.

Kisses...

2006-06-28T11:40:00.000-04:00

Kitten vs Frontrow (by mattcoats)

Heee heeeee.....
KITTEN KISSES...

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

2006-06-28T11:16:00.000-04:00

Here is to 8 wonderful years, and 88 more, unless we live longer than that, and then put that amount over the 88. I love you James.

Love and Kisses. . .

T

EEwww...

2006-06-21T15:36:00.000-04:00

Ya know, in America, you have freedom of speech, or something like it. But not at work. In life we should not have to look over our shoulder and watch our backs any more than nature requires. But we have to because people at work get bored and they suck. For instance. I have to watch what I say at work, because I speak my mind usually, but here at work I cannot, because there are multiple people here who feel it is their job, to report all of the venting and ramblings of the drones, because why? They think they will get ahead? (not likely) They love to gossip? (Sure but don't yes it for evil) Their favorite thing in the world is to Teabag the upper management? BINGO to all three. These people are lower than low and should be put to sleep for their own good, well take a number bitches cause I have a dirty syringe and a bucket of deathjuice.

Spits . . .

Dead Animals Need Love Too...

2006-06-20T15:54:00.000-04:00

Kit can be a little sassy, but he doesn't mean it. It's just part of his nature.

This is the newest post and the newest thing I like on my desk.

Kisses. . .

Harpy Says What?

2006-06-13T10:41:00.000-04:00

OOpps, I did it again. . .

2006-06-12T12:44:00.000-04:00

Well I love my parents, sure, but damn it if fathers day isn't coming up, as if I don't already have enough to do. Well I guess I will play it like mothers day. BUT just a side note, which grosses me and I am sure you out. I mean what's the big deal about these days, its not like it HURTS to become a father. Maybe for the mother, but you should know what you are getting into before hand. Sorry but its true, but for the father, it doesn't hurt, it is something we all like to do and there are no after effects for him, so isn't that gift enough? I will never know if these days will be important because I, sadly am not able have children of my own. Ok that is a lie, I guess I could but, I don't want any because they suck out your life and ruin it. No really they do. I am sure I will cave and do something little for the day, I just hate feeling like I don't have the option to bow out even though I do. Stupid social graces.

Spits . . .

The Season of Goodbye . . . Again. . .

2006-05-23T10:15:00.000-04:00

Well the TV season is over; shows are having finales, or going away for good. A lot of time is spent by people watching TV. We invite these stories into our lives, and are moved to laugh, or gasp or cry. Like books before it, TV can at times be a way to let wonderful stories into our lives, and like an extended family, we visit almost every week, and catch up and learn new things, and live vicariously and are touched by how those stories relate to us. Most shows are just a way to kill time, they are entertainment. But, sometimes one or two will come along that we connect with on a deeper level, because the stories are ones we can relate to, or maybe we see a little of ourselves in the characters portrayed on the screen. These feelings are real, and just like real family or friends that pass in and out of our lives, the memories live on inside of us, and if we are lucky, we learned something about life and ourselves along the way. Is it silly to have such an emotional investment in a TV program? I don't think so. Perhaps it is the people who don’t find this attachment who are the ones who are missing out. In my mind, being able to explore feelings through characters and stories shows emotional growth and expression. To be open to these experiences stimulates the mind, and excites the soul, but to be too good for that kind of thing, or closed off to how a character or story can effect you, makes you as two dimensional as the characters on the screen. Either way you look at it, we must remember that there are no goodbyes,
just good memories. . .

Oh Balls. . .

2006-05-19T10:18:00.000-04:00

Well we went out to eat for a little work event for James' office. It was so good. We went to the Reata. So here is the breakdown of the sampler platter we had. There were two fat tamales, which were pretty good. A few half Quails, smoked, which were really good. Four or so Bacon wrapped Shrimp which were good, but over rated. A star shaped piece of corn bread, all laid on cheese grits. But the best thing on the plate in my opinion were the calf fries. YUM! So by calf, I mean bull, and by fries I mean BALLS. That's right, Cow Balls. They were so good. And yes, I get the irony of Me liking to eat balls, ha ha, shut up. Anyway, there were so good, I think I actually had between 8 - 12 of them. They were a tiny bit like liver, but lite and not as dense. I think most people would not try them because of the fact that they are balls, but if you get over that you may want to give them a chance. I didn't care what they were or what they used to be, they were meat and I was in. Well that really all. I guess I should have known there would be something to do with Mountain Oysters this week, because my Kiwi all week have been double lobed and looked like bawls.

Hello, my name is Tim, and I enjoy Bawls(wink)..........

Kisses . . .

Cool

2006-05-12T12:13:00.000-04:00

You Are 82% Evil

You're the most evil person you know. The devil is even a little scared of you!

http://www.blogthings.com/howevilareyouquiz/">How Evil Are You?

Don't you hate it ....

2006-05-10T12:29:00.000-04:00

When your walking down the street, and you see someone from your past, who you don't want to talk to. So you look down and walk by, hoping that they wont see you. BUT THEY RECOGNIZE YOU, they Recognize you, and they stop you and say, "Hey (Your Name Here), were you gonna walk by me without saying hello?" And you say, "No Mom." - JT

I do not believe in mothers day. There I said it. For that matter, I don't believe in fathers day either. I don't believe in any of the extra Retail holidays, just the important ones. If it isn't a Birthday or an Actual holiday some one celebrates, like Xmas or Solstice or Ramadan or Hanukkah, then its crap and presents should not be expected or required. I guess if you want, valentines day can be an exception, and of course your own personal anniversary's, but otherwise.....Crap. I just hate this 2 week to 1 1\2 month holiday advertising buffer. And the people of the land are brainwashed into thinking that they deserve a gift on these days, and get upset if they don't. I heard a radio commercial for a jewelry store and the guy was all......"Hey, I need to find my wife a really nice mothers day present, like this 3 karat diamond bracelet on sale for only blah blah blah. HELLO, did you marry your mom? Gross! If you insist on getting a mothers day present for your mom then fine, I do admit I get mine a card, no harm there but, I think husbands are actually expected to get their wives something for mothers day. Which is, oh I don't know, STUPID, lets just say. So if you get married you not only have to get your mom a present, but your wife too? And also, Moms expect their kids to get the Grandmother a present too!!! Some poor bastards out there are getting Pyramid Fucked because they have to support the quadrant of retail by getting their mom a present, getting their wife a present (Stupid), getting their grandmother a present (dumb) and buying their kids a present for the selfish wife who still expects something out of him. 4 presents, 4! What in the hell is wrong with the world today? Just to add a touch o hypocrisy to the whole thing, don't think for one second this goes on for Fathers day. At least not to that extent. Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying lets hand out gasoline martinis and noose neck ties on these special fake days. But I am. Oh and for all you churchies out there, you are screwed even more, because of Special (in the Corky sense) mothers day services. In which you have to buy flowers and corsages and there is pageantry and poof and I just threw up.

Kisses. . .

Here comes Trouble...

2006-04-27T16:32:00.000-04:00

Ok, I am gonna get in trouble for this, but too damn bad. I am so...Completely sick, of hearing about this autistic kid who made a few baskets in a basketball game, and then got on the news, and then met the commander in chimp, and now for reasons nobody can justify, there is going to be a disneyesque duche-fest of a feel good movie about the boy who thought he could and did after he rocked back and forth while arranging buttons by color then size and number of holes in groups and then lining them in a row. What is the big fucking deal people. He like all other children, isn't special. Sometimes I can play a game of pool and sink every one of the balls and the 8 ball without the other person being able to shoot once, where is my fucking movie. Anyway, I don't know why, but this kids new found fame gets under my skin. It isn't his autism that bothers me, its the actions of others because he has autism. Enough already. You know the best way to handicap a handicap person, treat them like they are special. Or you can do them a service, and treat them like they are any other normal person. So live it up Jason, people think you are a corky and are giving you magic beans to show how special you are. Feel insulted by the attention yet, I sure as hell would. Have a fun 15 minutes, and I will see you on the basketball court with Mary.

Out.

The Real Original Wonder Woman Pilot

2006-04-26T13:42:00.000-04:00

If you have time, check out the crappy 60s pilot, thank goodness Lynda Carter came along in the 70s.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnY291TaOUM

Pass the Skinny and Sweet. . .

2006-04-17T10:44:00.000-04:00

Well we had a little vacation, just a week. It was a time of magic and joy, and joyness. We actually had our vacation at home. Which was nice, because we got a lot of things done. There was yard work, and painting, and repairs, and cleaning, and pool and cooking and movies a-plenty. I still have to plant the elephant ears but besides that we got a lot done, though I would have loved another week. Now back to work. I wish I had more money. Have a good Monday.

Kisses...

Just a quick TB Update

2006-03-31T14:59:00.000-05:00

There is a report of a Silver Ford Ranger O8R-GK2, who thinks the speed limit is 95MPH. Please make sure next time you stay off my ass you Rectal Wart. Tailgating people is rude and dangerous, so don't be an ass clown or you are gonna hit someone.

We also have a Gold Saturn J37-CXH, Stop being a bitch and cutting people off. The solid white lines are not for crossing over, and for the LOVE OF PONYS, Please stop putting on your face while driving. I hope you rear-end someone and get Joker lips due to your insolence.

And that is your quick TimmyJStudios Traffic Bitches update.

Viva What?

2006-03-29T11:41:00.000-05:00

Ok, so here is a tough blog, and it is more to get opinions than anything else but DAMN if there weren't a lot of damn kids in the streets these past 2 days. So here is the issue. There are ramblings in the government that state that it will be a felony to be an illegal immigrant. I myself think that is a bit extreme, we have enough felons as it is, why make more. So Thousands upon thousands of kids, poured into the streets the other day because of the issue. Kids walking through the middle of the streets (bad start in my opinion) chanting various things. My personal experience was that they were chanting VIVA MEXICO, and was backed up by all of the news stations showing the same. They all wanted to make a political statement and blah blah blah. I am all for protest, BUT:

1) These kids aren't even old enough to vote. (Can't vote, no political clout, duh)
2) They are all citizens probably, at least the majority if not like 95% are.(though I get their parents may not be)
3) Though the protests were legal and semi-tame, it looked like chaos to me.
4) Swimming in the city hall fountains has no political purpose
5) If you want rights and clout in AMERICA, perhaps the main slogan that is chanted so loud I could hear it on the 9th floor behind glass windows, shouldn't be VIVA MEXICO.
6) I bet 1 out of 1000 of those kids had even ever been to Mexico because it they had, they would'nt blindly chant Viva Mexico. I have nothing against Mexico but the people who jump the border aren't leaving the posh parts, they are leaving the ghettos.
7) Where were the adults, who this issue should be important to?
8) The whole issue of Illegal Immigrants is just that , they are Illegal, so find a way to make them Legal, duh.
9) Some people, Not me, will say, "Well we pay for them to have health care and schools and stuff." Well yes we do, but our economy will crash without them. Give them a special tax so they pay part of their own way. When will we all protest people on welfare, don't work, and others who live off of our dime as well?
10) They are our damn Laws, so help make these people Legal, in a simple way, set it up so they pay taxes, and help them learn English. Simple as that.

There is another side, the scary side. Who know what to make of this, but it just goes to show, when you boil it down people just hate people, and its kind of sad. Every Race, just like every religion has groups within it that think they are superior.

Anyway, I think these kiddy protests are crap, kids don't have political beliefs, they just run around and act like they care about an issue that they don't think about the day after(SHEEP). I know the value of these immigrants who do jobs no one wants to do. I am sorry that we live in a society where there is a class based economy and citizens who my become legal may still be treated as second class. But You come cry to me after my wedding day when I can walk the streets of my town holding hands with the one I love without fear of being jumped or killed.

So that's it, do you want to be American Citizens, or Mexican Citizens. Shouldn't all of us in this country be Americans? We don't have to deny where we come from, or where our roots stretch to, but enough with the labels and being BLANK-American. Just be.

Now I don't want any one to take this the wrong way, I appreciate people no matter where they come from, and people who know me, know that. This whole race thing . . .It's just tired.

Kisses . . .

TB Update

2006-03-21T09:53:00.000-05:00

That's right, its time for another traffic bitches update, bringing you offenders from far and near, in front and behind. So lets get to it...

Moron who drives a dark grey Jeep Cherokee Limited - 086-HJS, DIE!!! I guess you like the million other idiots on the road could really bog my blog down, but LEARN TO SIGNAL. That's why they put those little amber pieces of plastic on the corners of your vehicle. They do have a purpose.

Speaking of signaling, there is debate over my next fellow driver, but I say he is wrong. Hey, YOU!!! Leather Clad biker guy with totally cliche bandana. Just because you look behind you and point to the lane you cut into without hesitation, doesn't mean you are signaling. I am pretty sure your Harley Type Motor Scooter license 028-LAN (It was a real motorcycle, I am just being an ass) came fully equipped with working blinkers on the rear. I guess you can signal that way but if you point and cut off, it doesn't really count, and it was a cocky point, not a please may I get over point. I am pointing at you, where ever you are, right now, can you guess which finger I am using? Here is a clue, it isn't the one you used to point to where you were gonna cut people off with. Don't worry I am sure you will figure it out.

Finally, we have the Drive Thru Duche. That's right, last night while sitting in the drive through, this douche decides not only to get too close to me in the drive thru (but all truck\suv owners seem to do this) but you decided to rev the smog belching engine in your way to big Red Ford F350, license plate 3LX-B71. Now I know we were all hungry in that line, but the drive thru is for the purchase of food, not to drive through the car ahead of me so you can move up in the line. Do you smell that? Is that the new vinegar grilled stuffed burrito from Taco Bell, NO!!!! It's the douche behind me revving the engine to his 4 door V10 3 Ton douche mobile. YOU SUCK.

Well that about does it for now, this has been a Traffic Bitches report brought to you by Timmy J Studios. Taco Kisses . . .

Look How Original I am . . . TAKE IT

2006-03-17T15:12:00.000-05:00

QUIZ

Traffic Bitches. . .

2006-03-16T09:47:00.000-05:00

In this new segment to the blog, Roadkill Rodent presents Traffic Bitches. Traffic Bitches much like TB can be deadly, but at the very least, a pain in the ass. So for today (and yesterday):

For Wed March 15: F-ing Dodge Ram Dark Grey or charcoal, Probably 2003 or later, license Plate 8DT * J29, Prick Male Driver in his 40's......YOU SUCK!!!!! If you EVER go around me on the exit ramp and almost shave the dirt off of my car and then not even use the lane you cut into again and it's to me, I will ram your truck and rip the Jesus Fish off of the back of it and beat you with it.

For this morning Thur March 16: White 2000ish Buick, driven by crotchety white haired old business guy, license Plate G96 * 52T, I can see why you have a corky placard on your rear view mirror. I imagine that if you ride people's asses and then go around and cut them off like you did to me, you probably get the shit beaten out of you often. Hence you really do need the corky placard because your hip has been repeatedly broken from the very deserved beatings. YOU SUCK!!! Was it worth being a dick since you were stuck in front of me the entire time after you rode my tail and cut me off? Did the one car length you gained help you have a better day? I hope so, you ass clown.

Well that is all for today, but the way traffic is here, I imagine that this could be a daily supplement. This has been Roadkill Rodent for Timmy J Studios Traffic Bitches Report.

You know how rich people use money for toilet paper, well...

2006-03-15T10:46:00.000-05:00

I found my new brand. It is a million dollar bill I found littering the streets of Downtown FT Worth. I hate it when people use "Money" as their ad. I hate evangelism. So here is what was on the back of the "Million Dollar Bill".

This tract has the Gospel message written around the border on the back of the bill.

The million dollar question: Will you go to Heaven? Here's a quick test. Have you ever told a lie, stolen anything, or used God's name in vain? Jesus said, "Whoever looks upon a woman to lust after her has committed adultery already with her in his heart." ( Have you looked with lust? Will you be guilty on Judgment Day? If you have done those things God sees you as a lying, thieving, blasphemous, adulterer at heart. The Bible warns that if you are guilty you will end up in Hell. That's not God's will. He sent His Son to suffer and die on the cross for you. Jesus took your punishment upon Himself -"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life." Then He rose from the dead and defeated death. Please, repent (turn from sin) today and trust in Jesus, and God will grant you everlasting life. Then read your Bible daily and obey it.

So basically "God" thinks you are a lying, thieving, Slutty bastard. If you don't fear him and lick his feat and read the not as exciting as Grimms fairytails book of his, you will burn forever in a fiery pit. If ever there was a ploy to control society and make people bend to a set of archaic rules, there it is. I have no problem with people who are religious or whatever, I just have a problem with people who have a problem with people who don't believe in their God. Here is a not so news flash. Everyone thinks their religion is the only right one. Everyone thinks everyone else (who doesn't believe like they do) is going to hell or the equivalent. No one has any proof that anything they believe is right or real (which is where the concept of Cop Out of faith comes in). I will be reamed for this post, seriously.

I am writing this just to make people think. Just think before you retort and remember, Isaac Hayes is retarded because he is a hypocrite for quitting South Park. He was a part in making fun of every race, religion and creed, but when the South Park guys made fun of the ULTIMATE SCAM Scientology, he cries foul and quits, because religion is so important, especially when it is your own. Well F U Isaac Hayes, F U. Just as you may sit and think, those damn scientologists are loony, or those people who believe in ghosts or UFOs are nuts, they have no proof, there is no proof blah blah blah, take a look in the mirror, because the same can be said for every "religion". I take comfort in the fact that I don't have to rely on a crutch to get through my life. I can get pissed off when bad things happen because I don't have to fall on the old adage of it was blah blahs will. Oprah, when talking to a cutter who was molested and troubled, said it best last night on her show, and frankly it surprised me that she said it, but there was wisdom in her words. When something like this happens and you are told to pray on it and it will be ok, All the praying in the world does nothing, it does nothing. Start thinking for your selves people. Besides prejudice and ignorance, religion is the last hurdle to get rid of and over for the world to work correctly. And the corporate machine, we definitely need to get rid of the corporate machine. But besides all of that, have a good day!!! Kisses...

What the hell is wrong with damn Freakin kids today?

2006-03-14T12:16:00.000-05:00

I guess it is just a part of getting older, but I wonder if all people my age and possibly older had the same disdain for kids that I have. Kids piss me the fuck off. From birth to 20 pretty much. Of course when I was 16-17 I didn't like kids either I just didn't realize that the age range was so large until I got older. For instance, I feel like I cannot drive down the very street that we own a house on because the damn kids there like to congregate in the middle of the street and wont get out of the way until you stop for a minute. ALSO, they sometimes cross VERY SLOWLY on purpose if they see you coming. So it has come to it that when I go home, I have to seriously debate if I want to go around the back way or drive down the street on which I live. That is stupid. I feel like in a small way if I honk or say something they will retaliate and vandalize the house or my car. Did their parents never tell them to get the hell off the street when cars come? It is like that every day! Unless it is raining. Fuckers. Another part of me thinks, HEY, my tax dollars pay for the damn street, and I always knew when I was a kid\teen that if cars were coming, get out of the way. Now these are mid to older teens, but still, get the fuck off of the street. But its not just the kids in the neiborhood. Its all of them. They ruin movies, restaurants, the mall, and pretty much anywhere. I want to beat them all more than I want to beat the cat. I know that it's mostly the parents fault because they don't raise them right. But I think its also because kids suck and that goes for most teens too. I know, I know,
But TIM, you were a kid\teen once. Well DUH I know that, but I'm not now, so suck it. All I know is if I had my way, I would be realistic. I know I cant kill them all, cause of the population thing, but I would encourage shock collars and 5pm curfews. That would be sweet.

You don't know me. . .

2006-03-09T15:26:00.000-05:00

Or do you. Sometimes you don't know people as well as you think you do. Just being at work, you deal with people all day. There are a few people at work who I am comfortable with and consider friends, but a lot of people don't really know me, and probably don't have any interest to. It's just interesting when a lot of the time they talk about family environment and blah blah blah, am I right Q? Yeah, I'm right. But anyway, just something to think on. Just a random thought...

H W P

2006-02-22T16:31:00.000-05:00

So we are finally having our house warming party, but here's the rub, no one local really reads this so this isn't an invitation, its just notice. . .

Dick Cheney Was Here

2006-02-15T12:17:00.000-05:00

(Effects of Birdshot like what Cheney shot but on a metal storm door)

ouch . . .Remember Kids, Guns don't kill people, wankers like Dick Cheney Do.

For REEL though...

2006-02-13T10:58:00.000-05:00

Ok, well we got our first lawn mower, and can I say, I really like it. It is fun to use, pretty quiet, and good for the planet and the grass. Sure the cut isn't as even as the buzz cut a regular lawnmower will give you, but I was able to mow the yard and it didn't feel like work so that is what counts. I am sure in the summer it will suck a little more, but since this mower doesn't make its own heat, it shouldn't be so bad. Want me to mow your yard for you? Just ask me, I like it that much. Want if for free, too bad, its 20 for the yard or 10 per hour, whichever is more, plus gas, and where's my sandwich bitch??? Oh, sorry, any way... I really like the mower and would highly recommend it for anyone who wants a NON gas mower and cant quite afford to shell out the 400+ dollars for the electric kind. The new Reel mowers are the way to go. Well I guess that is it, have a good day, kisses. . .

The Cause of life's problems and some News...

2006-02-09T10:28:00.000-05:00

I know this is a DUH moment, but I was reminded today that the cause of most of life's stress and problems, is Corporate Machine America. You have to get up early, just to make it in to work "on time" just like the 3 billion other people on the highway, which causes traffic. You are moody because you have to get up so you are touchy and crabby. Traffic compounds the problem and road rage ensues. You speed or are rude in traffic, possibly getting a ticket, which your company will not comp you for. You have to deal with morons you work with. People take their jobs way to seriously, and if you don't they get mad at you. Work is the cause of all stress and ills that you may go through. It is like a vicious cycle that ends with going to bed early so you can do the whole thing over again. Corporate America sucks ass. Just a little FYI for you.

Now Some news...

In Egypt, An American team has found what appears to be an intact tomb in the Valley of the Kings, the first found in the valley since that of Tutankhamun in 1922. Hopefully when they crack the tomb open, they find more than Geraldo did in the secret (and empty) chamber in the Pyramid.

Apple is releasing their $149 Ipod Nano. The $149 Nano has a 1 gigabyte capacity which will hold 240 songs or 140000 photos. It comes in black or white and has all of the traditional features of the Ipod, like the clicky wheel and all of that. So for those of you who jumped the gun on the Ipod craze, sorry, but for most of you the 1gb model isn't enough room so it's ok. I still want a Creative MP3 player myself.

apparently, the Olympic flame will use enough gas to support a small town, so I guess it is a good thing that we have solved world hunger and poverty. PRIORITIES PEOPLE . . . Looks like sports are in the top 5 of the worlds ills.

Brittany Spears is being poo pooed on. NO PERV, not in a new German Schiza video, by the media. She is being charged with being a bad mom for driving with her spawn in her lap. She claims she did it because of the Papirazzi. I think she did it cause she's a dummy. People are wondering why her security guard in the car right next to her didn't help her with the child, but what we probably don't know, is that he got the kid off of the roof of the car before she pulled out of her driveway. I know how it is Brit, its easy to forget stuff on the roof of your car.

Kelly Clarkson beat Paul McCartney for best pop album at the grammys. I tend to agree that she deserves to have that honor. Though I think people should get over the American Idol tie. People, American Idol didn't make her win. American Idol is just the way she got exposure, they don't make talent, they just expose it. She is a star all on her own, and probably and hopefully would have made it with or without AI.

Finally, It seems as if Ben & Jerrys Milkshakes will be bringing all of the boys to the yard. Damn right its better than yours. Pepsi will be selling Ben & Jerrys Milkshakes in stores this year. They will be refridgeerated and not frozen, and oh so yummy. Though thanks to The Megan, I know the real lyrics behind the "Milkshake" song and the fact that Ben and Jerry are in the picture makes it all the more disturbing.

Have a good week. Kisses...

Myspace under Fire

2006-02-07T11:09:00.000-05:00

Well besides all of the news stories talking about MySpace being a haven for child predators, and sexual harassment for all, it is also being blocked from access in more and more offices. Today on a whim I decided to see if mine was one of them, because before it wasn't. Well it is blocked as of today. So for all of you who have a MySpace account, please do enjoy it, and if you enjoy it from an office, enjoy it while you can, because reports show that more and more offices are blocking it from their employees.

Creepy Update

2006-01-30T09:46:00.000-05:00

So we are sitting on the sofa watching The Exorcism of Emily Rose, cats in laps. The movie wasn't what I expected it to be, but it was still pretty good, and pretty damn scary. Well while we were watching the movie, out of nowhere, the flu in the fireplace opens all on its own with a loud metallic scrape. I peed a little, but no one died, though the cats may have used one of their lives scrambling out of the room...

People Suck...

2006-01-20T11:30:00.000-05:00

That is all. Just kidding, that isn't all, but people do suck. People kind find a way to suck no matter what aspect of life it is in. Driving\Traffic, Work, Blogging, IM, Email, Phone conversations, Advice they give, talking, breathing, blah blah blah, you get the idea. Don't you just wish sometimes it could all just stop. All it would take is the press of a button, or so I have heard. Oh well, that's ok, the survivors would probably just screw everything that was left up anyway...

I think Cartman had it right...

Kisses . . .

In Memory of Cy

2006-01-11T12:49:00.000-05:00

I don't know why, but when I saw the picture of Cy, I wanted it. I wanted to hold it and love it and own it. So sweet and innocent and special. What a shame it didnt live past a day. I wondered if there was a reason it died. I would love to have a Cyclopse kitty, I think it is very cute, and special, but I am sure there are some health problems associated with the condition. At any rate, I am very sad the little guy didnt make it and wanted to put up its photo just as a reminder of its special existance.

There's somethin' evil in this house ya'll, I can feel it...

2006-01-10T14:16:00.000-05:00

Well, The sounds of a new house take some getting used to. I like having a multi level house, because to me its creepier to live in 3 dimensions. I also like having an attic. I may be the only one. Without going into detail, James doesn't like the attic. I am sure it has nothing to do with Mary Kate. At any rate, I wasn't sure if I should say anything, but last night, at 4-5 a.m. it got really hot, so I woke up, and after I woke up, I noticed that the damn cat was yowling in a weird way downstairs, it sounded kind of muffled. I just knew Sebastian was freaking out downstairs for some reason. I thought this because it was the sound he makes when he has his toy mouse in his mouth but meows, its weird. Well I lie in bed for a while trying to ignore it, but it must have gone on for minutes or more, so finally I got up to see what the hell was going on and to check the heater. Well the yeowling continued as I made my way downstairs in the dark. So I got to the bottom landing, and for some reason, the front porch light was on (it is motion detecting) which was weird seeing as it was 4:30 am or so. What do I see but Ezry sitting in front of the door to the Utility room and the Garage, facing the door and fluffed up to twice her size. She continued to yowl and meow as I stared at her, and then I heard a plunk as she seemed to notice me and dropped her mouse. She sat for a couple of more seconds and then walked off. I know that she sees things that James and I cannot see. It happened in the apartment, and it is probably happening here. It reminded me of the scene in Poltergeist where the dog offered his toy to the unseen presence in the house. I am not sure what Ezry was doing, but it was apparently Sebastian at my feet sleeping, which is kind of a role reversal. That is very unlike her, especially the whole yowling for minutes on end like that. Anyway, I hope more happens, just not at 4:30 in the morning. No doubt with Mary Kate hanging around, interesting things will be going on.

2006

2006-01-03T12:23:00.000-05:00

Going into the new year is like having a birthday. When you turn 21, more often than not, everyone you probably know and a lot of people you don't, will ask you, "So, How does it feel to be 21?" (I hate that) And so it is like that for the new year but every year, so happy freaking new year, EEWWWW its 2006, laaa deee dahhh! Well to answer your question, it feel EXACTLY LIKE 2005 or 20 take your pick. Anyway, so there ya go, the date has changed and all is well, so lets not make a big deal people....KISSES.

OH and P.S. - This weather blows, and not in the good way, January 3 and still in the 70s, what the hell? It better freeze soon and freeze hard, I hate this out of place heat. As if we dont have to deal with that enough here in this state, and the news people and weather people just love it I bet, usless pieces of crap.... OK Bye....

Sexual Harassment, Smoking and Buying our First House

2005-11-29T15:28:00.000-05:00

Well I just got back from our yearly sexual harassment training class thingy. My opinion is that if you are a total social retard then you are probably guilty of this, or if you just don't know any better. I also realized that for about 5 years now, my co worker has been harassing me in the sexual manner in the following ways: Unwanted touching, violation of personal space, explicit sexual talking about herself, others, speaking explicitly about her past abuse by her family in great detail and repeatedly bringing it up over and over, telling me what a slut she used to be, saying how she misses her f*** me shoes and telling me what those were, explaining how her lesbian niece isn't really a lesbian because she loves to f*** men too much, pinching me, speaking of men and various aspects of them to me as if I were her "girlfriend" which really pisses me off, speaking of past detailed experiences and the members involved, uncle abuse talk.

Well if you are still with me, I could go on and on for at least a few more lines. Now if this isn't a basis for sexual harassment, I don't know what is. You know who you are, you filthy wannabe vixen. Although my claim would be ignored I am sure, because I am a guy, and she isn't, because all of the examples were of men being bad toward women, except for 1 case and the other exception was when a girl didn't mind being leered at and cat called by this guy but as soon as the girl did it, it was a big freaking deal, cause she doesn't want a girl hitting on her, blah blah blah, pointless as usual. Go to work, don't talk to anyone, don't even speak or breath if you can help it, and go home and sleep. Otherwise you are screwed.

Well on to more exciting topics, and yes here comes the jinx, but I(we) quit smoking. Now I could totally bum at work and be secretive about that, but I would certainly hate it if someone did that to me so I wont. Besides if I am gonna quit, I am really gonna quit. People are so weird about the issue, especially parents. Parents get a hint of the fact that their child is smoking and they freak. Well I say People with their own huge personal issues aught to shut their holes. But back to me, no more smoking for now, and hopefully ever. I do like it, it was fun, but its better if I don't and the money being saved is good too. So that's enough of that. If you still smoke, good for you, if that is what you want to do, then who am I to say don't do it. I am certainly not going to be one of those holier than thou ex-smokers, those people suck donkey balls.

Finally, Yay, we are buying our first home. It is 18 years old, it is quaint, and it isn't the home I had in my head, but I like it. Its a first house, so it wont be perfect, but it is damn near close. One of the cool things about having a home, is if anyone comes over and pisses me off, I can be all, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, and really mean it. And they would have to . At any rate I am super excited and cant wait to move. Our apartment sucks ass for not letting 5+ year residents out of our lease 2 months early and are pretty much costing us our solstice presents and stuff, probably my birthday presents too, but we are getting a house so that is ok. If you can ever help it, NEVER RENT. It is a total screw job. I would certainly not want anyone I know hanging on the edge of THE CLIFFS of the GHETTO. By that I mean if you can avoid UNITED a-holes that make up apartment management offices, the DOMINION of the Properties, than do so. If you do have to rent, I will light a candle for you, cause it sucks.

End of Rant

Kisses...

Now, by repeated request, The news...

2005-11-09T14:18:00.000-05:00

Senators grilled top industry executives about huge profits and high prices, but CEOs made no apologies and rejected calls to contribute to a fund to help the poor heat their homes this winter. This proves the theory we all knew already, Oil Tycoons are bastards. That's why we have Rollercoaster Tycoon, not Oil Tycoon to play on the computer, cause Rollercoaster Tycoons always support helping the poor pay for their heating bills, but Oil Tycoons, no.

Some dumb kid shot people in his Tennessee school. So what's to blame now, video games, TV, who knows. It is a cry for help of course, though no motive has been given. And just as these cries for help have been ignored, so will his cries be ignored again when he is being given a prostate exam by the Barney the inmate physician. Whooo Whoooooo, Ramming speed.

British scientists say estrogen helps women be better drivers and multi taskers. I disagree, I feel that all drivers are idiots no matter what sex they are.

Tornadoes have ravaged the north US this past week. These strong storms made areas in Indiana look like the hurricane ravaged areas. Nothing funny about tornadoes trashing over 600 homes or killing 22 or more, it just goes to prove tornadoes suck...Seriously.

A cat is resting up at an animal shelter in Washington state after leaping from a pickup, scampering through traffic, plunging 70 feet into the chilly Columbia River and swimming 600 feet to shore. I don't know how many lives that used up but that is one tough pussy.

Prop 2 in Texas was passes, even though it was already in the books that marriage was between a man and a woman. So for the first time in history, hate and bigotry were added to the state constitution instead or removed. Rick Perry sucks, Texas sucks, lots of stuff sucks.

Finally I want to give a shout out to Randy of 2 Guys 1 Brain, for reminding me that I want to do a podcast. I enjoy Andy and Randy's show so much, and it really did inspire me to want to do one, and I just wanted to say thanks for all the great shows and laughs, you guys are the best.

Now in the Boos...

2005-10-31T15:50:00.000-05:00

Now for Some Halloween news for ya...

In Florence, South Carolina, A hayride that happened for no reason(except for the fact that nothing else was going on) went bad. An 18 wheeler slammed into the tractor pulling a flatbed trailer, killing 4 and injuring 14. The Flatbed had no lights, but on the brighter and more morbid side, in years to come, it will make a great urban legend for the local area.

In Waco, Tx, a Baptist Pastor was electrocuted while inside his church Sunday morning when he adjusted a nearby microphone while standing in water. He Died. The woman he was trying to baptize hadn't stepped in yet, so she was unharmed. One member says, "We use microphones all the time during baptisms and this has never happened." Well try stepping away from the Cadillac Dealer, and instead purchase some wireless microphones. Now this speaks to 3 points.
1) Baptists are not very intelligent. (I know....Duh)
2) They will all say this happened for a reason, but I bet they cant find a good one to give you.
3) technically I guess it is impossible that this guy died anyway, since to have done so he needed opposable thumbs, and the Baptists don't believe in evolution, So I guess "God took him". Dumbass.

A mystery phantom smell is haunting New York City. Residents say it smells like maple syrup. I know what the real source is. Some gang put a cap in Mrs. Butterworths head and the smell is her ghost haunting the city with her sweet buttery smell.

A poll shows more Britons believe in ghosts than in God. Interesting....

BEWARE of candy laced with poison and needles and razors. NOT! This semi Urban Legend flys around every year. I don't know that it has ever really happened, and if it has, it was very Isolated. If this type of thing happened like people thought it did, there wouldn't be so many damn kids running around, in fact, there wouldn't be so many Damn adults running around either.

And now, some Jack'O Lantern Halloween Lore:

It was said that if a demon were to encounter something as fiendish looking as themselves, they would run away in terror.
In Ireland - the tradition was to carve out turnips, but now it seems pumpkins are all the rage.
According to folklore, the Jack O'Lantern is named after a blacksmith Stingy Jack who tricked the devil into paying for his drinks.
Unable to enter heaven or hell when he died, the devil threw him a burning ember.
He was left to wander the earth carrying it about inside a turnip - or should that be a pumpkin?
Ronald Greenway grows up to 10 acres of turnips near Dungannon in County Tyrone.
Hallowe'en used to be his busiest time - but not any more.
"When I was small, I didn't know what a pumpkin was really, so I suppose we used the next best thing, a turnip."
At the Ulster American Folk Park - they have been growing pumpkins in the run-up to their Halloween festival.
Irish immigrants took the tradition of the Jack O'Lantern with them to America, as Rachel Craig, an interpreter at the park explains.
"In Ireland, people cut out heads and faces of turnips and hid them in the hedgerows as a prank during Halloween and they would have carried the tradition over to America."
But when they arrived in the New World, they just could not find any turnips, so they used pumpkins instead.
And now that Halloween has become more commercial, the American tradition has become more common.
Liam Corry, the assistant curator of the Ulster American Folk Park, says folklore is constantly evolving.
"Each generation creates its own folklore drawing on the traditions of the past and also the needs of the present.
"So with Halloween, it started off as a commercial sort of thing and pumpkins were introduced from America for creating a bit of atmosphere."
But perhaps the proof as to why pumpkins are more popular now is in the eating.
Once you have scooped out a pumpkin you can make pumpkin pie or pumpkin soup.
While the good old turnip, well, you can make turnip surprise.

2005-10-31T10:20:00.000-05:00

In the news...

2005-10-28T14:54:00.000-04:00

Well the top story, at least for me, George Takei, who as helmsman Sulu steered the Starship Enterprise through three television seasons and six movies, has come out. That's right, Mr Takei is gay. The most pleasant suprise for me was on all of the message boards I have read that are trek related today, no one has said one bad thing about it. I have heard from people who have met him, that he is the nicest and most pleasant, intelligent person you could ever meet. He and his partner have been together for 18 years. I am very happy to have someone so distinguished (and close to my heart) in the community. The other nice part is that the world came to know him and love him, and he was gay this whole time, and I am sure for a lot of those people they would have never wanted to see his work if they knew. Good for you George.

In FREDERICA, Delaware, The suicide of a woman found hanging from a tree went unreported for hours because passers-by thought the body was a Halloween decoration. Which if she haunts the area now, must really suck for her ghost, because suicide is a cry for help, and no one noticed for a while. So what have we learned, don't commit suicide in October, or people will think you are a really good decoration.

And this weekend it is Halloween. There is a party, sans maze, and lots of fun stuff to do I am sure. I don't like it when holidays happen on a Monday, but what are you gonna do. Don't forget to set your clocks this weekend. Its daylight retard time again. Anyway everyone have a safe and happy Halloween weekend.

Kisses...

Oh Look, a post...

2005-10-21T10:16:00.000-04:00

A New Hampshire Republican senator won over 800K in the powerball lottery. Now isn't that a bitch. As if he doesn't have enough money already, now he is even richer. I guess it isn't his fault though, it is a gamble so he has a right to win. But by the looks of his photo, I hope that is enough money to cover a personality transplant poindexter.

More surfers bitten by shark news this week. I get the love of surfing, but really, you people go out there and marinate in salty water (Which I hear makes you tender B.T.W.), and then are shocked and horrified when a shark takes a chunk out of your tender thigh. I have heard sharks don't really like the taste of people, its their way of Taking all they want, but eating all they take, and they just don't like us for dinner. I don't know how this conclusion was arrived at, but that's what they say. But if these surfers keep getting sampled by the shark population, they may develop a taste for us even more than they have, and that's a reality show that writes itself. Jaws: Out Swim, Out Last, Don't Die......

A mother in San Francisco tossed her 3 children into the bay, so far only one body has been found. But she claims she couldn't help it, MMMMMmmm She heard Voices, and Dogs commanded her to do things. The Voices said, "Throw your children into the water." However investigators have found that two yuppies were under the pier, and one told the other, "Throw some sushi to that otter." A simple mistake that could happen to anyone, No?

Petting Zoos, be on alert. Your little animals are giving kids E.COLI!!!! Parents are being warned of the danger. HEY PARENTS, have you seen goats and donkeys and other petting zoo animals? They're Nasty, you shouldn't let your kids touch them for that reason alone. Besides, if the animal can be found in a crappy neibours back yard, its no zoo, its a farm, but who's gonna go to a farm and pay 8 bucks to milk Betsy?

ST. PETERSBURG, Florida (AP) -- A 93-year-old driver apparently suffering from dementia fatally struck a pedestrian and drove for three miles with the man's body through his windshield. Just another reason that Wilma needs to get her act together and wipe that state clean. I have never liked Florida, and I probably never will. The people there are weird and their businesses are shady. I think we should let nature reclaim Americas Wang, or Bushyland, as I like to think of it. Nothing good comes from Florida, except gator tails and oranges, and you can get both of those things from other places much nicer. Screw you Florida, and screw your demented, petrified drivers, who try to be nice by picking up passengers for free, but ask that they securely fasten the windshield around their waste for safety.

Finally, in the Local news, nothing is going on here. Have a good weekend people.

Kisses. . .

Stuff on Friday...

2005-10-14T10:47:00.000-04:00

So not really much in the news today or this week for that matter. President Shrub had a fake teleconference with some military personell, which was promoted as totally unscripted, just to find out that it was totally scripted and the soldiers were coached and told how to speak what to say and how to express their faces. Hey George, if you are gonna bullshit the American people, not like anyone watched the damn thing anyway, try not to get caught. Lots of people died this week in Iraq, big suprise. But more importantly, over 30,000 people have died in the east due to the earthquake. That is a crap load of people. I know we are sending money over there, and I think we should. Because all the money we are raising and what not for the Hurricane crap hee, isnt doing squat, so we may as well use it for people who need it in a bad way, and will probably use if correctly, hopefully anyway. I dont know that much else is going on really, kind of a slow news month so far. Not much funny. But keep a smile on, you never know when something funny or quirky may happen, and I will tell you about it. Like the longest nipple hair in the world, 3.5 inches, which belongs to Tyler Ing who is a student at the University of Western Ontario. He will be featured in the 2006 Guiness book of World Records. So good for him, and Eewww. Well have a good weekend people.

Kisses...

Well Since you asked...

2005-10-12T12:07:00.000-04:00

Just a note for people who may not have talked to us recently, James LOVES his job. He feels like it is a really good long term fit, and his office seems really fun. Just a Perk Preview, he gets free unlimited fountain drinks (Not water fountain, soda, dummy), Halloween Fun, food days and full benefits, and much much more. I can tell a difference in his mood and he seems much happier and relaxed at the end of the day, and much less tired. So He is happy, and when he is happy that means I am happy. And when I am happy........

People DIE!!!!

Oh wait, that's not right, well anyway, you know what I mean. Hope to blog more soon. Have a good one people.

Kisses . . .

AAAHHHBULLSHIT....

2005-10-03T11:33:00.000-04:00

So much fun was had this weekend at the little get together. I want to thank Bekka and Lesley, Megan, Angel and Amanda, and Jen for coming to the House of Knives for the party. It was a lot of fun, and it was good to have people over to the apartment. I really enjoyed the game Megan taught us too, it was AAhhhfun. Saturday was filled with MANY destinations, but most of all Halloween shopping!!! That was also very fun. DAMN Satan for making so many delicious yet, expensive Halloween Decorations. One day we will posses them. The drive to work with James was fun today, and it will be nice to have the company on the way home as well. Any way, good times all around. Have a good week people.
Kisses . . .

and now, THE NEWS...

2005-09-30T10:37:00.000-04:00

For the first time in recorded history, live pictures of a live Giant squid were taken this week in its deep sea habitat. This isnt the largest squid living out there, but it is one of the oversized varietys that people didnt quite believe was living in our oceans. I cant believe no one has fried one of these mothers up yet, I WANT SUPERSIZED CALAMARI!!!

Scientist have found a spider that is 20 million years old. It was killed when tree sap covered it and today was found suspended in amber. Scientist were able to extract actual blood from the spider, which determined the age, and they are hoping to extract DNA also. I can already see the mutant 20 million year old spider hybrids running around tackling people and laying eggs in their brains. Dont say I didnt warn you.

Gov. Schwarzenegger has terminated the Same sex marraige bill. He says it will confuse the issue and he wants the people, not the courts to decide the fate of the issue. I have seen the Govenor shirtless lately and am frankly suprised he vetoed the bill. His boobs have gotten so saggy and large he could pass for a transy or a really weird looking woman, so does that mean he and Maria will have to get a divorce? I think so...

Scientists report that they have found Gorillas in the wild using tools for the first time. Gorillas for a long time, have been seen using their tools in zoos all across the country, but this is the first time in the wild. Scientists were supprised at how agile these creatures were when handling their tools, but if chimps can sign and paint, it shouldnt supprise us that gorillas can hold on to their sticks.

The Japanese automaker, Nissan, has developed an egg-shaped car whose body pivots 360 degrees so that its rear end becomes the front. The Pivo was shown Friday at a Tokyo Nissan showroom and is an experimental model. This model of car is going to be geared for the elderly population, due to the fact that there is no back seat for younger buyers to have sex in.

In Lajas, Puerto Rico, the town has devoted a large portion of their budget to building a landing strip for UFO's. The idea came from an elementary school teacher who claims to have been in contact with ET's since he wandered into a canabus field as a child. I am betting more regular planes land there than UFO's but I for one hope it works out.

Finally, a judge in Tx has barred a Teen druggie from having sex as part of her probation. She will aslo be ordered to drive the new Nissan Pivo, until her probation is over.

Greased up deaf guy says: See y'all at the paarty!!!

Kisses...

Stuff Happens...

2005-09-28T11:43:00.000-04:00

So stuff happens.

We are having a little drunken monkey party to further the celebration of James' new job. Bring your own drinks, and there will be some snacks, but since there will be lots of drinking, there wont be to much food, cause as much as I like to entertain, I don't enjoy cleaning up peoples puke.

Leeann is getting a new little kitty. I had a hand in it and am happy that she was able to take it into her home. I can't wait to see it. Though I am not crazy about the name and have no issues about re-naming an animal I take into my home, especially if it is young. Besides, the cat doesn't know its name, it just knows when you make that sound, it can look at you and then ignore you. So if you rename it, it will learn the new sound that means look at me, and then walk away and ignore me. Besides the name is supposed to be a reflection of yourself, not the animal necessarily.

I am happy to hear that fall will soon be here, hopefully with much rain. Not much else going on I guess, still want to do a podcast show, but I am waiting on a good list of ideas so I don't just sit there, though really, I don't have the face or voice for radio, so I am probably screwed from the get go, but we will see. Anyway, hope everyone who reads this has a good day. Perhaps news on Friday, perhaps not, we'll see.

Kisses...

Picture O' the Monday

2005-09-19T14:30:00.000-04:00

Credit to Rense.com for this photo.

In the News...

2005-09-16T11:44:00.000-04:00

An Australian man was dressed to kill. He built up a 40,000 volt charge of static electricity due to his wool and nylon clothes, just by walking, and was setting carpet he walked over on fire. He was one step away from his clothes self combustion. Paris Hilton says: "that's Hot Bitch."

In Cape Town Africa, Police who were helping a stranded whale, decided the best way to help was to blow it up. Onlookers were very upset, however police are now working on blowing up a rice patty near by, and a bank of sea weed. Sushi anyone???

A dead deer mysteriously appeared on top of a 35 foot powerline pole. It is reported the deer may have come from another dimension. No one knows how it got there, but reports say it had a very shiney nose. Reports from the north pole say Christmas may be late this year.

Researchers build teeny-weeny little robot -- so small that 200 could line up on an M&M and dance the macherena.

A survey found that for less than the cost of your morning bagel, you can feed starving children and help them out. This survey was run by a fat man who obviously had a large lunch and if found dead, could feed the village for months. An opposing survey found that people who see the plea for this money, don't care.

And finally, if you have any issues you would like to hear on an internet radio show, please make sure to post them here, and who knows, before 2010 you may be able to hear it.

Kisses...

Early Picture of the week...

2005-09-14T23:19:00.000-04:00

Behold DIVA!!!

Pic o' the week: Sometimes you have to take matters into your own hands...

2005-09-09T12:40:00.000-04:00

Whats Going On???

2005-09-07T11:07:00.000-04:00

Well, what the hell is going on? It's just a question. Well I dont know that this post will be going anywhere at all. The news is all about the Hurricane aftermath, so not much to comment on, but let me see....

The California Assembly has OK'ed Same Sex Marriages. These lawmakers have said, if we want to tie knots we can. Now this is a big deal, but the GOVONATOR can veto this bill, so who knows if it will stick. You may as well shake your magic 8 ball to get the outcome, cause it is all up in the air. Look

I didnt know, and of course the hurrican is WAY more important, but Bob Gilligan Denver died last week. Though in my opinion Bob Denver died when Gilligan landed in our livingrooms long ago. Not funny, just a point.

More storms threaten the Gulf, so Bushey....Ya think we can get it right this time???

In work news...a furniture mover got fired after he and a coworker were caught fencing with adult $ex toys they found in a customers bedroom.

A man was fired for eating leftover pizza at work cause some other work pricks wanted to take it home but didnt put their name on it or anythng, but enough of a stink was raised that the poor man got fired for eating 2 slices anyway.

The recreation center down the street from us is finally being used, as a shelter for Hurricane victims. It is supposed to be a fitness rec center, but the parking lot is usually very empty, so happy that it is being put to use.

And Finally, I want ideas for a internet radio show and topics that could be discussed, so let me know what you think. Have a good day. Sorry for the slow news week.

Also, in case you didnt know, the Bushes suck in a MAJOR WAY, like huge corn filled donkey Poo. See?

Kisses...

Somber Stuff...

2005-09-02T09:43:00.000-04:00

All of our thoughts and hopes go out to the people in the affected areas of the country due to the Hurricane. In the same respect, horrid slow death to those who blame this disaster on gays, anyone else, or the activities that went on in that city.

Thursday's Question...

2005-09-01T10:23:00.000-04:00

OK, for S&G, lets put a question out there, YAY! Lets say, that you are at work and working (it could happen) and you are doing your normal thing and you hear a cubicle or 2 over, loud people talking. So naturally you listen cause you can hear them like they are talking to you. So Mother one says, : "Oh my son just called and wants to bring a girl home after school. The other Mother, and Mother one discuss all that kind of stuff,
M2 "Oh my daughter cant date until she is 16"
M1 "Well My kids can date blah blah blah"
M2 "Are you sure you don't mind him bringing a girl home without you there?"
M1 "Oh I trust him, and besides, he's bringing a guy home too. But not like that...He's another friend from school. My son really likes this girl, but so does his friend he is bringing home, but hey At Least he's strait!!!" (The friend I assumed or her son, it doesnt matter.)
M2 "Shhh, not so loud" This is because M2, who is supposedly a friend of sorts knows I hear everything.
"Whisper, Whisper, Whisper." aaannnnnndddddd Scene.

Anyway so the basic premise of this badly written story is that Loudy McTalksalot over there, or M1 for short, is saying, my son is having friends over, but I am not worried about premarital sex or him alone with a girl, I am just excited and relieved that the other boy that will be with them is strait.

Now I know I will get flack for this, but you can replace that strait comment with "at least he isn't (Insert race here), or religion or gender or anything else bigots like to pick on. My Question to you is, what would you say or do, again keeping in mind you are at work, in this situation, if anything at all? Would you speak up, would you do anything, would you go to Human Resources?

Comment Away, because I am really interested in what people would do.

As for me, I hope I get invited to Loudy Mctalksalot's wedding, because in front of her and many others, I will say NO, I don't think you would like my date, He ISN'T Strait.

Kisses...

Do these wings make me look fat?

2005-08-30T11:02:00.000-04:00

News you can chew on...

2005-08-29T10:31:00.000-04:00

BREAKING NEWS...Hurricanes blow...Well they suck too, I guess they do both. Any way, The Big Easy is getting a big saltwater enema via nurse Katrina. The Super Dome where half of New Orleans population is huddling, is blowing apart and its raining like no ones business. I know its a tragedy, but you guys down there have had like 100+ years to prepare for this, you have dodged every bullet so far, but as Ned Flanders will tell you , You cant keep a storm from flooding your city with GOOD INTENTIONS...

Aruba diver find nothing in their search for that Girl that is missing for over 3 months now. Though bones were reported offshore, all the divers found were unusually fat fish.

Coffee is VERY Healthy. It has at least 4 to 5 times more antioxidants than any other beverage. So Drink it you Bastards.

Suge Knight was shot in the leg at the MTV Party. I know, I know, I am just as shocked as you are...

A Huge Glass walkway will be built by an Indian Tribe that will extend 70 feet out into the air in the grand canyon. That way, you littering bastards, for the first time in history, will be able to see where your Fritos bag lands when you toss your trash into Americas plumbers crack.

Axl Rose is being sued by his fellow Guns n Roses Band mates. Apparently Duff and Slash are suing for hoarded royalties that Axl didn't share. Now let this be a lesson to all of the bands out there. If you want your full paycheck, don't stay drunk and high all the time, sober up once a month to check your account balance.

And Finally, A chimp in China who has smoked for 15 years, started to smoke even more when her mate died. The zoo keepers are worried about her health and want her to quit. The chimp picked up the habit by getting ciggy butts left by visitors to the zoo. Zoo officials are hoping the chimp can quit cold turkey and pick up normal, healthy chimp activities like flinging poo, because as we all know, smoking is a nasty habit.

On a serious note, Good thoughts, and hope for all who are effected by this Hurricane, it is a hard thing to deal with, but the well wishes of much of the country go out to you who are suffering.

That's all for now.....Kisses...

Just a brief but important news item........

2005-08-19T12:24:00.000-04:00

Sean Combs has changed his name AGAIN, because his music sucks and he needs attention. He's been Sean Puffy Combs, Puff, Puff Daddy, Puffy, P Diddy, blah Blah BLAH.... But this is really important...

WHO THE FUCK CARES?!?!? Every time he isn't in the spot light for his crappy music or business deals, or for being associated with a Shooting, he changes his name to get attention. I hardly think it is news worthy. Hey Diddy, why don't you change your name to Done. It still starts with a D and I have a big Fork with all of your names on it.

Stick it...

Stick it UK!!!!!!

Fat Cats Don't Cry....Its the Picture of the Week

2005-08-19T10:12:00.000-04:00

This is Sebastian before he went on his Catkins Diet.....

This is Sebastian NOW!!! He went from between 31-32 pounds to between 16-17 pounds!!!

YAY!!! No more rocking when he breathes, no more wearing people sized clothes, and no more getting stuck holes that were too small for him.
Kisses.....

A Thought for the Day...

2005-08-16T12:58:00.000-04:00

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna
eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."

Think About It....

....Kisses

Black Eyed Peas!?

2005-08-16T12:41:00.000-04:00

So I thought, EEEEKK, the Black Eyed Peas could be the answer to the Aqua hole in my music library. So I listened to a couple of their albums. I don't like the actual peas, and I must say I don't care for the musical Peas either. I am sure they fill a nitche for some, but for me...Me No Likey. Aqua kicks it way better than them. So you were right Leeann, the Black Eyed Peas are not good. Not even with corn bread.

Ode to my Devil Duckie... (actually its the official song that was on the package...)

2005-08-09T10:19:00.000-04:00

Devil Duckie, you're the one,You make bathtime lots of fun,Devil Duckie, I'm awfully dirty today.(woh woh, bee day!)Devil Duckie, when you float,It's like I'm bathing in a flaming moat!Devil Duckie, you're my very best friend, hooray!(doo doo doo dee, day!)Every day when IMake my to get cleanI find a little fella who'sRed and yellow and mean(rub-a-dub-keen!)Devil Duckie, you're so swell,You guide me on the path to hell,Devil Duckie, I'm awfully dirty -Devil Duckie, you're a naughty birdy -Devil Duckie, I'm awfully dirty today.

People can suck, and Here is why...

2005-08-03T10:07:00.000-04:00

I notice this all the time, I wish I had a licence to carry a bat in public.

READ THIS!!! I Command You...

Pic-O-The-Week and some news I guess...

2005-07-29T10:02:00.000-04:00

This Picture of the week is for Mr. Beta. Sadly our Mr Beta died last week after 4+ years with us. He was a good fish and pretty. So in honor of him and in celebration of Mr Beta II, who is red, I give you the picture of the week. NO I didn't take this one, do you know how @*^$)! Hard it is to get a fish to pose?

Now for a few news nibblets:

There is water on Mars. The EUROPEAN space agency found a lake of water ice. It's easy to see how NASA missed it. It is only 23 MILES ACROSS and 1.2 miles deep. So perhaps life too? Probably, but don't look for a Breaking news story from the US, I guess we should leave the real science to Europe.

The chocolate river in Charlie and the Chocolate factory was real, and so were the squirrels. Tim Burton insisted on using Live animals and not computer generated ones. I think that kind of attention to detail is what is missing from a lot of films today. Plus squirrels are super cute, just don't touch their nuts.

An 80 something year old Grandmother is suing the makers of Grand Theft Auto , because of hidden "Easter Eggs" of sexual content in the game, like really adult stuff here. Ok lady, lets sue over a natural act, and not the Strong Gang overtones or violence and bigotry the game pushes. I get it people, kids shouldn't see sex, its the kind I don't even want to see and have no interest in but come on! I think the greased up deaf guy should slip on up to New York and bitch slap that lady. But that's just me. What is it in our (USA) psyche that makes us accept any level of violence, but show a bare ankle, and the lawsuits start a flyin...

A boy who killed his friend with a baseball bat, got like 15 years, so he will be out at 25 if not before. What the hell is wrong with the world? I hate it when they let kids off because they are kids. If you don't think kids can be genuinely cruel and heartless and evil, then you're an idiot. I say promote me to Secretary of Corporal Punishment. It will go a little like this: I make the kid do all the crap work in my house, with a toothbrush and one hand tied behind their back. Then we get some time in the old batting cages, the kid will soon find out that he is the ball, AND I'VE GOT THE BAT!!!

Finally, There was a huge explosion in Ft Worth yesterday, fire shot up hundreds of feet and a toxic gas was released. You see people? See what happens when you burn the popcorn at work, you're not just burning popcorn, you're Hurting people. So use the PopCorn button.....Damn it....

Have a good weekend people...

Kisses...

Something Funny this way comes...

2005-07-28T13:10:00.000-04:00

Well it happened finally. Megan has a blog. I know it will be full of funny thoughts and Butch L Comments, OH THAT'S RIGHT, I went there. So welcome Megan, I already laughed at your first post and can't wait for more of your pee. Seriously, she peed on the Blog.....

News Time...

2005-07-27T10:14:00.000-04:00

The Space Shuttle Discovery blasted into space in the first launch in 2 1\2 years. More cameras were on the shuttle than ever. NASA reports that lots of crap fell off, probably always has it is just we are seeing it now cause of the 8000 cameras. Probably happens every time. Wow, and they are the rocket scientists.

Scientist report that Cats don't have a sweet tooth. I beg to differ. Our damn cats are all over anything we eat sweet or not, and I have proof, I have a picture of Ezrys head buried in a sliced cantaloupe, and those are sweet, explain that pin heads, EXPLAIN THAT!!!

The US Renewed its Mexico travel warning: Beware of Violence due to Drug Gang Warfare. PS, Water still not safe to drink.

There have been reports that after his tour, Eminem may take a break or retire, but the rapper has stated this is not true. Damn...

GM Crops have created a new Super Weed. Calm down losers, it isn't the kind you can smoke, its the kind that will choke out your wacky bacci plants in your illegal garden.

Finally, since it is a slow news day, the odd event in the North Texas sky has been explained. The picture above is formed when sunlight refracts through horizontal, hexagonal ice crystals in high cirrus clouds. The colors are fragments of an ice halo called a circumhorizon arc. Huh, go figure. That's all for now. Look for the picture of the week returning, it's good to be back, it gonna RAIN.

Kisses...

I'm Back...

2005-07-25T11:40:00.000-04:00

Well it has been a couple of weeks. If you talk to me personally you know what's been going on so no need to go into it here, but I am back where I feel I belong for time being and happy to be here. I am sure once I get REsettled I have many choice and fun words for anyone who reads this, so until then...

Kisses...

Pic O The Week

2005-07-08T12:58:00.000-04:00

This week, I give you a classic view of London at night, just as a small tribute to the people there, in remembrance in the wake of the recent tragedy.

The War in London

2005-07-07T09:45:00.000-04:00

Sadly, this morning, terrorists hit London's Underground, and a double decker bus. The death toll is not known at the time, but deepest heartfelt sympathy to England's people, and to anyone who suffered a loss. The terrorists released a statement that they left London burning, but without dishonoring any life lost, they shouldn't gloat, because London is fine and still goes on. The people of London are ok, being that they have dealt with this before, and I am sure they will handle this better than most would. Our thoughts are with you.

DANGER WILL ROBINSON, DANGER!!!

2005-07-06T12:52:00.000-04:00

Read up on the Cult of Scientology, or the religion of Scientology, or the Crap Factory of Scientology. This stuff is out there. I don't want to speak against anyone's freedom to believe what they want, but if someone is saying, I need $12,000 to fix your spiritual imbalance, then you better run. This is crazy crap, so read this award winning TIME article to see what all of the wackjob talk is about. I believe in a lot of things, but this is about scamming people out of money, pure and simple, BOOOO Scientology, BOOOOOOO!!!! You make people poor and crazy, NO, that's bad, NO!!!

Time Article

News Briefs...

2005-07-06T10:21:00.000-04:00

In North Yorkshire, England, a farmer was lifted off of the ground and then dropped by a funnel cloud. He was not harmed. A local pole in England shows Britain's think tornados suck.

In Herefordshire, England , a cat survived having a crossbow bold shot in its neck. The cat, Puccini, was ok and is doing fine, though not happy about being shot. (Puccini Mad, Puccini SMASH!!) Frankencat T-shirts soon to be available on cafepress.com.

NASA actually managed to smash a huge crater in the comet they were trying to hit. Scientists say it will go a long way to unlocking the mysteries about comets, and the early universe. What I find amazing is that NASA was able to send a probe way out in space to hit a comet on a specific day and it worked, yet they can't get a glorified airplane to circle the planet without disaster.

In a related story, NASA is being sued by a part time astrologist who claimed by altering the comet, NASA has negatively effected her work and changed the path of fate. NASA responded by announcing a new mission in which a school bus sized probe will be launched, circle the earth and the if all goes well, on October 31st, will smash into the woman's house.

London won the bid for the 2012 Olympics, bringing a third rejection for France in the past few bids. If the French want to get the Olympics to come to the Starbucks of Europe, (and by starbucks I mean, pretencious, inflated sense of selfworth and filled with fluff) perhaps they should consider a shower, and electing a leader who isn't an asshat.

Finally, after blowing up many a firework, I am happy to report, still 10 fingers and 10 toes...

Kisses...

July 1st Picture of the week, and something more important...

2005-07-01T09:47:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday James!!!
I love you.

(Daddy, We are dressed for dinner...We do get to go don't we?!? Daddy? Hello? Hello? I think he hung up on us, this calls for a sexy party!!!!)

Now for the news...

2005-06-30T10:41:00.000-04:00

A teacher from Texas offered passing grades to 2 students who were failing, if they stole her car and torched it for the insurance money. Hello!?!!? There is a burning ban in the summer, next time wait for Winter so it isn't so illegal. Besides that it was a chemistry teacher, she should have known that fire and dumbass don't mix well.

Texas Rangers Pitcher throws a tantrum at TV reporters, probably cause he is tired of working such long hours for multi hundreds of thousands of dollars. I would be mad if I was on the Rangers team too, they suck. He is having Anger issues according to the team rep, Hmmm, steroid abuse anyone?

The Author of the Book How Stella got her Groove Back is divorcing her grove because he is gay and apparently wanted a way into the country legally, and hot a bride so much. She is humiliated and horrified. Perhaps she should be more careful before trying to shack up with foreign men half her age. Looks like groove isn't in the heart, its in the crotch. A kick in the crotch too...

New research may suggest that Teflon causes cancer. Though after years and years of use, they may have a hard time making the warnings stick. Emeril says "BAM, you're dying."

The French government says people should get more time off but more pay. In other developments, James and Tim are moving to France, and not for the culture.

Locally, The Super Walmart is going up not too far from the ball park, with the addition of the FB Stadium, traffic should be a real joy. I think the city should just build a solid wall and divide North and south Arlington since no one will be able to cross the parking lot that was Arlington streets. Its not really funny, just scary.

Finally, a new feature to look for on Timmy J. Studios blog, Fridays will feature a Picture of the Week. I have no idea what the picture will be but comments are still welcome. Be sure to look for it.

Kisses...

2005-06-30T10:04:00.000-04:00

BEHOLD!!!! I have hypnotically commanded this unidentified girl into beating her parents with a bat...SHE HAS NO CHOICE!!!
Is this a little less conformist?

Kisses...

Seofon - symbol of perfection

2005-06-28T10:35:00.000-04:00

The Perfect year, that is the seventh. I certainly cannot put things in a more poetic way. James and I have been together for Seven years now. I too feel like it has only been seven years, which seems like just the beginning and at the same time so far into our story. As if we have spend lives before this one loving each other, and we have found each other again. I guess that is how you know it is truth and real and the one. Just seven....And wow, seven.... I feel like its been ages spent in love, and yet I still get giddy thinking about him. Happy Anniversary James, my love, my everything and my always.

T

You know who is shit, I mean should be on your shit list?

2005-06-27T16:18:00.000-04:00

DR LAURA!!!! That's right. I listen to her show because I like to punish myself. She is such a bitch. If she doesn't like you in the least, she cuts you off. The last time I checked, any reputable DR has an oath to do no harm. But seeing as she is a fake DR and a bitch, I guess it doesn't apply. Can anyone put this winey little poodle to sleep?!?!? I guess not, but I wish she was on a stroll so many years ago with Yoco OH NO!!!, because then maybe the gunman would have hit that little woMAN!!!! Anyway she sucks and I hope she chokes on her own tongue.

Kisses......(But not to you Laura the Quack, you suck....Bitch.....)

Good Times

2005-06-24T10:23:00.000-04:00

The rest of the year is full of Good Times, no really, let me explain...

Ok First!!! James and I celebrate our 7th anniversary, 7 wonderful years that have made my dreams as a young lad of what my life would be like when I got a little older, come true. Thank you for making my dreams come true my darling, I cant wait for the next 700 years......

James' birthday is on July 1, so if anyone is going to purchase a gift and you need ideas, please let me know...... Happy Early Birthday Honey!!!

Charmed season 2 is out in a month or 3, super YAY for magickal fun!!!

Deborah Gibson is my total favorite of any artist, and she is releasing at least one but I have heard rumors of 2 that's right 2 (don't faint Lesley) albums this year!!!!!! Can't you just DIE, I would DIE!!!!

Tonight and the Rest of My Life....One of my new FAVORITE CD's by Nina Gordon. I cannot even explain how good this former Veruca Salt band member is on her own. So happy news virgins, Nina Gordon is releasing a new album this year!!!! YAY

Lots of good movies are coming out and sooner than you can spit, the holiday season will be upon us. PS Happy Summer Solstice to Angel and Amanda and Leeann. Cant wait for Halloween and all of that.

Anyway, Have a good one kids.....

Kisses...

Retraction...

2005-06-22T09:19:00.000-04:00

Timmy J Studios would like to make a retraction to an earlier story in which we assumed that Brennan Hawkins, the lost boyscout in Utah, was dead. Searchers in fact found him alive and well. Once again, the lost scout, is not dead. He was found and presumed stupid (as most young kids are).

Just and additional note....

2005-06-21T13:44:00.000-04:00

In Ethiopia, a girl was kidnapped which is the custom there in some marriage rituals. The men beat her badly but were run off by 3 lions, who not only scared away the attackers, but surrounded the girl and kept her safe until the police found her. When the police did find her, they just walked off into the jungle as if leaving the girl as a gift. Is this an offering to human kind so that when the cats master their thumbs and take over, we are assured to live in peace and harmony, or are lions just picky about their choice of meat? Who knows, but its pretty cool.

More news.....

2005-06-21T10:55:00.000-04:00

Today in what's news to me....

The first Solar sail envisioned by Carl Sagan is being launched from a Russian Sub. The technology is unproven and untested, and all theoretical. The idea is to use photons from the sun to propel a craft with a sail that is 5 microns, or 1\5th the thickness of a trash bag, at ever increasing speeds throughout the solar system. It will be visible from the ground in orbit as its systems are tested. We all know it works though since Captain Sisko sailed around in one with Jake in Star Trek. If we know anything its that Star Trek is never wrong, and since this isn't a NASA thing, the mission is sure to succeed.

In South Carolina, a 17 year old boy has been arrested and charged with the rape\molested of a 3 and 13 year old girl. Harsher charges have been added on due to his rape of a neibors dog, who later died from internal bleeding. Someone needs to put this kid to sleep, after a thorough prostate exam from Big Sammy the Prision broom czar.

Rick Perry did one smart thing this year, he signed a law protecting the right to spank and discipline your kids. In the same session, he cut the retirement benefits for teachers. Well 1 smart bill out of 300 isn't bad, what an asshat. Is there anything the man cant screw up? We at Timmy J Studios think not.

A Nun was crucified in an exorcism, and was killed. If only she had shaved her beard before hand, the priest might not have thought she was Jesus in drag. Holy sacrament bat man!!!

Finally a credit to Fark for this gem: Scientist are learning all kinds of new stuff about dinosaurs using the fake bones they planted(millions of years ago) to undermine the Lord.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8272638/site/newsweek/page/1/

Kisses.....

SonofaBITCH, bastardduche, dingdongdiddily ah HELL diddily ding dong crap!

2005-06-20T12:50:00.000-04:00

Ok, so the office decided to cut us off from the outside world, and now the building is trying to kill us off one by one because we are an infestation. Plus I had done my sweet news brief and I lost it all after two hours of work. So I will just brief the story I likes the best and paraphrase all the rest.

By the way the recover post thing doesn't work at least not for me damn it.

A Blond Girl and little boy are missing, why are they the focus of the country? I don't get it, PS to the parents, your kids are dead, you can stop praying now.

Nancy Regan wants Bushy go pull that beer bottle and statue of Jesus out of his butt and get on the stem cell train, Bushy promised a veto to the bill because Dogs command him to do things.

Soaking in the British lime light, hee heee, Tom Cruise cant take a joke, yet he follows Scientology. Ironic No?

Extra Extra, Website allows you to post your own news stories!!! Yeah, its called a blog you asshat...

An Attorney claims his 18 year old client Dilan Moore killed 3 people due to Grand theft Auto, a video game. As we all know, Games and Guns don't kill people, I do. Hey Dilan, during your stay in the gang rape wing, try the finger sandwiches I hear they are to die for.

Walmart wants to drive Target out of business even though Target is 6 times smaller than Walmart. In a shocking admission that we all knew already, Walmart stated that it wants to take Targets Middle income business because Walmarts stuff is crap compared to Target. Target stated that they were not worried about it. I think that the Microsoft of retail, needs to back off before the law suits start flying. TARGET RULES!!!

.....and now for the final and best story.

The time has come nye, yes my prophesy is coming true, CATS WILL SOON RULE THE WORLD. But Tim, you said it would be dolphins, NO, I said it could be dolphins darlings, the dolphins are just the cats bitches, but the truth is I always knew the world was for the felines if they could only master the thumb. And LO it hath come to pass... Breeders report that they and mother nature have seen it fit to give cats thumbs. THAT'S RIGHT!!! In a natural genetic progression, an increasing number of cats are born as Polydactals, which means they have 6 fingers in front, not counting the dew claw, and 5 in back, as opposed to 5 in front and 4 in back. The polydactle numbers have been on the rise in what could be a natural evolution, and with a little help from breeders as well. Breeders report that some cats can use their extra thumb to pick up food or objects like we do. Will doorknob mastery be far behind? Soon across America, screams of terror will emanate from the bathroom. Is it moms tuna pudding surprise, NO virgins, No, its because the doorknob will slowly turn, the door will creek open and Mrs Kitty will hand you her bottle of hairball pills cause she hasn't quite mastered the childproof tab.....Yet..... PS, your cat wants some Jiffy Pop.

So that's the news to me, and Pedro if you are out there, stop by for some coffee, I will show you where it goes after you swallow it...

Kisses...

HEY

2005-06-14T14:25:00.000-04:00

WHERE THE (BLEEP) ARE MY (BLEEP)ING COMMENTS

DAMN IT

Kisses....

I am leaving until the weekend...Damn it.

2005-06-14T12:54:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I will be for the second time this year going to Arkansas for a visit. This time it's impersonal. I have to go to my Grandfathers (On dads side) funeral. Now before the calls start, its fine, I am not upset. I didn't really know him, and this may sound cold but that prevents it from effecting me too much if at all. I am sad for dad, and for Grandma but I don't feel any personal loss myself. I was already forced to go see him last time I was there, which sucked. People were all, Oh you will wish you had seen him before he goes, blah blah blah. Well geee, I am so glad the spitting cursing farmer image has been replaced with drooling veggie. Anyway, so the point is I am out of town until Fri or Sat. I don't know when. Should be a fun time, with the family and no James to hold, and smoking cut to a minimum. I don't mind smoking in front of my family, but I am not sure if dad knows, so I figure why upset him more. Mom knows so I am sure he does too, but who knows. Anyway, I am hoping for a safe trip and a speedy return, until later this year when Grandma(on moms side) decides to kick. I know I sound cold, but believe me I am as sentimental as anyone, if not more so, but unlike a lot of people I actually know who my family is. And I am going home to him after work today. Plus I love my friends more than bleeding steak. So I will see you guys later.

Kisses...

T

Butch And Poco - "It makes us want to fall Flat dead on our faces."

2005-06-13T12:22:00.000-04:00

In B&P related news, it has now been divulged that one of the torture methods in the Gitmo(?) prison where terror suspects are held, is dripping water and play Christina Agulera music??? Now those of you familiar with the way the world according to B&P is, that is darn near close to heaven. If they would blast those terrorists with Britney then they would CRACK like they were porcelain dolls hit with the spankinator. I would say time for some filming in Cuba (that's where the prison is I think) but as many of you may or may not know, B&P are surely on the FBI's top 10 most wanted list. Right under Bushy, THAT'S RIGHT GB, WE ARE ALL ON TO YOU. Its like a pot calling a kettle black, but it's soooooo black that light cannot escape it. Besides he stole the Weapons of Mass destruction phrase from us and just handed it to the public to do with as they please!!!!! Oh My God, now I need pudding, okbye.......

P

In the news...

2005-06-07T13:25:00.000-04:00

Hey Hey Kids, Here's what's news to me.....

Don't be gay in the Mediterranean. One man lost his license to drive because of it. Though he got it back in court, but don't cheer yet, the Sicilian court said that even though he had a personality disturbance (Thanks Mussolini) he should still be able to drive ok. He apparently lost his hair and is in shock due to the outrage, (he is only 23). Well Danilo, might as well go strait, the no baldys and no fatties rule is still in our rulebook as far as I know, then you can drive anywhere. Hey Italy, I don't think you need to be so uptight about gay people. Your country is shaped like a stiletto boot and you have a Wang of a tower that leans as a tourist trap. Shut your pie hole and keep pumping out those pizzas.

Here in Texas, the Teen Accused In the Day Care Crash will Remain In Juvenile Detention. Well that's not good enough, I think they should tie her to one of those barrels full of water, put her in the middle of a racetrack, and watch as each child in the accident gets a turn "trying" to miss her on the TX Motor Speedway.

Here is a headline from up north:
Mom Takes Stray Bullet In Mouth While Breast-Feeding a Baby
Well I guess that is the universes way of telling you to stop sucking on yourself. It's not right. Get up and go to the fridge like the rest of us.

New Jersey Drivers are among the worst according to a national study. I personally beg to differ.

GM is on a new Ad Campain to allow those in the public to get their Employee discount for the first time ever, in order to boost sales. General Motors will also be cutting 25,000 jobs. I guess we know now where all of the "Employee discounts for the public" are coming from.

Medical Mary Jane is now not legal anymore. People who used it are sad. It sure is a shame that the only way to get pot is with a prescription. . . . .Don't sweat it Medical Pot users. There are 100 losers to every 1 pharmacy in this country and maybe more. Your supply is safe, but no longer covered by your PPO.

Finally Dolphins who have learned to use sponges to protect their snouts while searching for food on the sea floor, have passed on the knowledge for generations and still do today, they often use tools in their every day lives. Can world domination be far behind? I for one welcome our Aquatic overlords. I am sure they will bring back AQUA since they sing in dolphin range anyway, and the shortage of tuna for our new Kings from the sea, wont be missed by me at all. P.S. Your cat wants a cork for Xmas...

It Gonna Rain

2005-06-02T12:02:00.000-04:00

Well it already did, but anyway, here is stuff that is going on.

The Runaway Bride (Puke I know) was found guilty and ordered to pay over $13,000 in fines and ordered to continue her mental health treatment. From the look of her new haircut, she had some of her fellow loonies giver her a trim with saftey scissors. I don't know why she got the haircut but I hope it wasn't so people wouldn't recognize her, because unless she gets an eye transplant and a thyroidectomy, people will always remember those crazy eyes. Good Luck MR RUNAWAY...You will need it.

Landslides stun residents of California Mts. I cant really rip on them cause it really sucks, but the news has been in shock of these landslides. Which is about as stupid as someone saying "I never in a million years thought a tornado would hit my trailer here in TX". Duh, California = earthquakes and landslides, read the damn brochures before you move to a new state people.

The 49ers have a huge controversy due to a in-house video featuring topless women and Softcore L-wordish Porn. Why it is a shock that coaches and the like show this stuff to a football eam is beyond me. It is funny that someone got fired over it and then was all "Oh I didn't know it would offend or upset people. I thought everyone liked my sleazy brand of lockerroom fun. Dumbass...

Civil rights groups don't want the Minutemen coming to Texas in October. These groups along with clergy and others don't want people enforcing our border and keeping illegal aliens out of our state and country. I am not even touching this with a 50 foot pole. I will just say one thing, Minutemen... If you need directions Here is a link to find your way. www.maps.google.com

Neil Armstrong is mad cause he got a haircut and the barber sold his hair for $3000. He wants his hair back and for the guy to donate the profit to charity. The barber said he already spent the money and wont pay it back. If I were Neil, I would start an eBay account right away and get a piece of that moon man pie. That sounds bad huh, dirty readers.

Finally, Adult sites on the internet will be shuffled off to a .xxx address. Young college men all around the world cry foul as they will have to redo all of their bookmarked pages in their web browsers.

that's all for now. Kisses...

Long Weekend

2005-05-31T16:24:00.000-04:00

Well yay for long weekends. I had a really good weekend as I hope you all did as well. Thus begins the holiday season. The long wait between January and May is over and now the fun begins. Happy early holidays. More to follow on Wed.

Kisses...

T

The Window of Turin and other news...

2005-05-27T13:21:00.000-04:00

Apparently Jesus is here in TX, in "Cow Town" as the yokels call it. Yes apparently Jesus is bored and decided to appear in a window in Fort Worth to heal the blind and all that jazz. People are claiming miracles happen just by touching it. I don't see it. I think people see what they want to see and since there is no record of what Jesus looked like, how do people see him and Mary in so man places? Apparently the salvation of mankind rests on dirty windows and overviews pillars, not to mention toast and sheets stained with coffee. When a Timmy smudge attracts hundreds, PLEASE people don't pray to me, just send cash. Thanks.

NBC 5 hits new low as the above story is their top story today. Gannon starts in their news room Tuesday..

Locally, morons from a different state have ruined a wonderful park for the entire metroplex, as Ft Worth settles and adds walls to the water garden main active pool. They are also replacing the pump and lowering the water level. The new "Improvements" will cost aprox. 3 million dollars. I think perhaps they need to take the money for the walls and invest in a sign with audio that tells people who may or may not be able to read that the water garden active pool, which in its day was a scary awe inspiring work of art, is not for swimming. The signs there are so small, and who the hell wouldn't want to jump into something that is clearly not a pool with raging waters in it. Oh wait, OH NO, they were here for a religious conference and some were children. Too bad, kids are dumb, and the adult is dumber for letting them get in. Suffer.

Corey Clark, who aledged that he made nasty with Paula Abdul, is upset that the Affair was spoofed on the finale of American Idol. Come on guy, look at you, Paula could get anyone. I am sorry she blew the whistle that you are a loser, but by now the country knows you didn't get any. Go get a job like the rest of us. If I am wrong and you did sleep with her, try not to freak out about it. Its still sad you are trying to profit off of it just because she wont return your phone calls, grow up.

Studies show women don't get paid as much if they are overweight at work. That is truly sad, but what is even sadder, is it seems it is the opposite for men. They get a beer gut bonus.

And finally...Viagra may cause blindness, your mom told you not to play with it.

Kisses...

In the news....

2005-05-23T13:18:00.000-04:00

A worker in South America accidentally uncovered the fully intact remains of an Armadillo the size of a VW Bug. Glyptodons, an extinct ancient armadillo the size of a small car, lived in the Americas between two million and 1.5 million years ago in the Ice Age during the Pleistocene epoch. A worker accidentally found the remains as he was leveling land in the San Sebastian neighborhood of the city of Cuzco, the former capital of the Inca empire, said Gamarra. It is the fifth time glyptodon remains have been found in Cuzco.

Starting July 15, A man who calls himself Prophet Yahweh will command UFOs to come down from the skies for the media to photograph, including one over Las Vegas. Parking will be validated by the government, though Bush denies the existence of Extra Teradactals...

THE SPICE GIRLS ARE BACK!!! MTv holds and interview in which the group reports that they will be going on a world tour with all members in tow. They will also be releasing a best of Album, and hope to get a fat paycheck in the process. As a guilty pleasure I enjoy, I say good for them, maybe some new content in the near future too? I am sure we are all holding out breath.

Charmed will be back for and 8th and probably final season. I believe they will still go out on top even though some are wary of the seasons past. One of the Best shows EVER, I cant wait for the Final chapter, not so it will be over, but because they will be leaving quite a mythology behind, which I will watch again and again for as long as DVD's exist. Speaking of which, Season 2 is out in August. YAY!

Blast rocks Baghdad, some killed, many hurt. Can I just say that since this headline appears every day, its really old. Sure the numbers change, but being that we shouldn't even be there, an almost daily bomb over there that kills people and hurts people every day, is reason enough for me to want an Impeach Cobbler with a scoop of Vanilla you deserve what ever you get you damn dirty monkey Ice cream.

Finally, Gas prices are slowly going down. I almost peed when I saw it under 2 dollars this weekend. But conceder what James told me. They jack the prices up SO high, and then they get to just under 3 dollars, and we get happy cause gas is later $1.99? NO lets not forget when it was 98 cents not too long ago. Don't be happy that gas is 1 cent shy of 2 dollars. They are still robbing us blind on this crap. I am sure that the Trillion Heir Oil Moguls don't shed one damn tear when they have to pay 2 bucks for gas, but I do. Down with OIL!!!

Kisses......

It's all fun and Games until people get sick...

2005-05-23T10:23:00.000-04:00

Well it was a really fun weekend. Friday, we had Chipotle with Lesley, and then saw Bekka, right before that had to go to a sporting event of some sort, the likes of which we will not talk about. So that was fun. James got some ideas for his next book and took notes, and I forget what I did. Then on Sat, we went to Target and did all kinds of fun shopping, had a nice lunch at Subway, switched out the light on the Terrace and did a water change in the pond, and then it was Pina C. night with Leeann. We hung out and chatted, and then had a how many cars can we destroy, and who can tip over a tour bus contest which I thought was really fun. (All on PS2, not for real) That believe it or not lasted until like 2 AM! But it was good quality fun and I really enjoyed it. So Sunday rolls around, and it turns out that James was pretty sick, I was slightly sick, but I guess I got some of his Tired germs, not the strong ones. I feel pretty ok today, just a slight cough, but he is home sick, so good MoJo to him. Anyway that was the weekend, pretty fun according to me. Everyone have a good day.

Kisses...

HEY LESLEY...What the Truck is going on?

2005-05-19T15:16:00.000-04:00

Just a safety note, Lesley, is your truck included in the recall? If you need help finding out let me know. We can't have your truck steering you around, that's just unnatural...

Kisses...

In The News Today...

2005-05-19T09:52:00.000-04:00

Ellen DeGeneres, our funny little Ellen, reveals in Allure Magazine that she was molested by her Stepfather as a teen. Its awful when nice people have bad things happen to them. The Good news, she is a strong voice to help speak out against this tragic and destructive type of behavior. We Love you Ellen D.

British scientists say that they key to winning in sports, Wear Red. Apparently it does not apply to advancement or being appreciated at your place of employment. Believe me.

Update: Kylie M will have surgery this week, doctors report the cancer has not spread to any other areas of her body. (Good Mojo to KM, Get well soon)

Ebay is coming to cable. That's right, now more people than ever can bid on useless crap they don't need, reaching that very important demographic, those who are to poor for internet access. (Hey Ma, I reckon we ought to bid on that 1950 chamber pot. How long you figure it takes to cook chamber anyhow?)

The Man accused of taping his brothers doggy's mouth shut is found guilty. News Flash Dumbass, Dogs do 3 things, Eat, Crap and Bark. I think we should dip you in gold paint, and tape your mouth shut, and see how you like it.

Internet hookup PERVES are being busted left and right in DFW. Older men looking to meet younger women (as in 10-13yrs) are being caught in a sting to get these people to wake up and stop what they are doing. Reports indicate that Woody Allen has canceled any future trips to the DFW Metroplex.

On a final note, I love Oprah, she does good things and is funny, and oh so very informative. Oprah, Call Me.......

It's EVP and I Helped!!!

2005-05-17T14:24:00.000-04:00

So here is a link to the crappy, yet funny, EVP I made from the White Noise website, I dont know how long it will be up, but here it is, ENJOY.
These are in the style of the great 80's rock songs that all included the devil in some way......

EVP Balad, By Me

Another Balad

Kisses.....

In the news today....

2005-05-17T11:33:00.000-04:00

Sony announces PS3 pictures and specs are released (Supersweet)....

Sadly, Kylie Minogue has breast cancer at only 36 years old......

Mexico President Vicente Fox is a huge racist because apparently "Mexicans in the US do the jobs Blacks don't want to do..." Right.....

Not many pepole in Amarica can spell, big suprize....

Happy One Year Anniversary to Gay marriage in Mass(Behold Morons, the world didn't end).....

The Third Star Wars Prequel apparently sucks, Unlike the previous two prequels....

The Economy sucks...

And finally, no matter where you live, people drive like idiots.

Kisses...

Freefall

2005-05-13T13:07:00.000-04:00

I am so in love. Yeah! It's true. For the past 7 years I have been this way. I walk around with that over the rollercoaster hill feeling. I love it. I owe it all to my partner in Life, Love and everything else, James. I stole that from him, but it’s so good it needed to be in more than one spot. I just thought I would put it up here, not like we don’t know, and who knows, maybe we will traipse off to Nebraska and get Married one day, or one of the many other states coming to their senses. I am sure we would have been married already but we both know that we really already are. That’s the great thing about being in love, it doesn’t matter what amendment or law they pass, they can never take that away from us. I love you James. My heart, my everything.

T

Past Imperfect

2005-05-12T10:40:00.000-04:00

Well I am sorry for those who didn't know I was leaving town. I didn't want to say goodbye to everyone because I figured if I had people that didn't know I was away, I would have to get back safely so I could talk to them. And for those who did know I was gone and felt as if things were off because of it, don't worry, I will never be leaving again, at least not without James. I will say going away did make me realize how much I love my life, and would never want to change it. Every thread a tapestry that makes my life what it is, and I guess it was something to get an outside look at it, but I already knew what I had before I left, so there is no point in doing it again...

Back from the Past

2005-05-11T13:32:00.000-04:00

Well, as most people know, I was on a 3 day trip to Arkansas to visit my past, and also my family. It was a really interesting experience. I think it has been 12 years since I have been there, and everything is the same except the feeling. I found that there are a few people I did enjoy seeing, but there is really nothing there for me but memories. Which isn't enough to draw me back often I think. I saw my dying Grandfather, and wish I hadn't. Its not that he said anything that I didn't like hearing. My brother has been bugging the crap out of me to go see him and my Grandmother on my moms side. Well thanks a lot Jeff, now instead of the spitfire of a man I used to think of I will now see a drooling man who didn't know who I was, and is more dead than alive. It made me very sad, not because of who he is, because I don't really know any of my grandparents that well, so I am a bit far removed from having the feelings and attachment that many others in my family do, but because people have a need to subject others to things like that, when there is no need. I would have been just as happy not to have seen him. I have a very odd view on family though, unpopular too, so that may be part of it. My Grandmother, who is now treated like a 5 year old, is not doing so well either. And of course over the course of the visit, it just couldn't stop at, "It's good to see you" It never stops there, it bled into, why are you leaving on Tuesday, why can you stay longer, don't wait so long to come back, why can you come up here more, BLAH BLAH BLAH. People are never happy. I did this for mom, and that little bit of Grandpa for Dad, but I do know that if I ever go again, I wont be going alone. It felt like I was gone a week, because for some reason, days go by really slow in the country. And to put a cherry on the top(I hate cherry's) mom has to bring up stupid stuff like the Mask Jeff and Jennifer scared me with when I was young. She is convinced it turned me gay, and she never mentions that Jeff was there too, it was all Jennifers fault, but he was, and Lisa and Lori too I think. It was just a stupid kiss mask. I remember the run from their house barefoot on gravel roads and dusk, and I remember I was just as gay out of the door, as I was when I arrived on the carport at grandma's house. Now granted I was like 5 or something like that, but the point is, sometimes my mom can be really out of it when it comes to reality. Anyway, to sum it up, way too late I know, interesting trip, nice flight, don't know that I will be going back anytime soon, and No lighters on Planes. Most importantly I would like to thank those who kept my James company while I was gone, Only 2 I know of but thanks. I am very glad to be back with him, now I feel whole again.

Kisses.....

Done and Done...

2005-04-27T16:09:00.000-04:00

So the demo disc of Butch and Poco in Aqua's Halloween is complete. The Final edit will need a tiny bit of tweaking but it is 99% ready for Prime Time Viewing. So come one come all, and see the horror that is Butch and Poco NOW ON DVD........

Life smiles and Frowns, Has Ups and Downs...

2005-04-25T12:40:00.000-04:00

Well what a weekend. Good and bad stuff abounded.

First, We shot the Live version of Timmy J. Studios Halloween video, with B&P Pictures. It was Hella good time, and there should be about 20 minutes of outtakes to accompany this almost 4 minute video. I am very pleased with the footage that was shot. So that was fun.

Second, I finally got to see Amityville Horror, the original, which wasn't too bad. Thank you Kat Brown Portable Cinema releasing.

but then there was the bad.....

The day after the shoot, Man did I feel like crap. Not to mention, our not too cheap coffee maker bit the dust, and they have discontinued the model, so who knows what that means. Then we had to shell out even More for a good coffee maker. But it is cool, so that's ok. I guess. I didn't get to edit the video yet, but that is ok too, I will get to it. I guess there wasn't too much bad, not really. But hey, the week is young.

At least it started out with a rain.

Kisses.....